An Innocent Abroad

Auf Wiedersehen Deutschland!

2010-05-30T15:53:00.005-04:00

Tonight is my last night in Germany. I'm really sad. Ko and I got to Frankfurt yesterday and have been having a nice time here. Occasionally I break down, because I remember that I'm leaving the life that I've made for the past two years.

The reality of things didn't really hit me until about Friday afternoon. Until then I had spent so much time worrying about things that I needed to do that I didn't think about everything I'd be leaving behind. It's probably for the best, there was no point mourning the loss of things that hadn't been lost yet. Here's a picture of my apartment on the last day it was mine, and one including Jenny (she came over to help me clean).

I've already said my goodbyes to all my friends (and colleagues) in the lab. Ko is coming with me to the airport tomorrow so I can say goodbye to him there. I'm excited about coming home and starting my new job, really, but I hate this leaving thing. Hopefully my German (and other) friends will take me seriously, and remember that they've always got a place to stay in the US.

To Do List

2010-05-19T14:36:00.004-04:00

Moving out of Germany is tricky. It's a lot like moving out in the US, except

All interactions have to be conducted in German
I have no car
I have to get rid of everything except what will fit in two suitcases.

So in those ways it's a bit more tricky. Here's a brief look into the things that I need to do in the next week and a half.

Go see the Frauenartz for a prescription for "anti-baby pills" (I swear, that's what they're called here)
Make an appointment and go to the dentist
Paint my apartment (scheduled for Saturday - I've recruited a team to help)
Mail packages to US (okay, I sort of lied about the 2 suitcases thing. It's more like 2 suitcases and a couple of boxes)
Close my bank account and transfer remaining money to American account
Go visit the Foreigner's Office to get official permission to stay in Germany, since my flight is one day (!) after my visa expires.
Unregister with the city (i.e., go to the city office and fill out a form)
Cancel my bahncard (train discount card)
Give away all my furniture (I've actually found someone to take it already)
Clean
Do the check out thing with the landlord
Pack

I'm sure it'll all be fine - I've got a week and a half. Plus, everyone is being very helpful - Katha called the landlord and has agreed to come to the check out thing with me. She's also agreed to come with me to the bank. Georg offered to drive me to the dump on Friday. Plus, the painting team will be Jenny, Ko, and Bart (who is arriving from Belgium the day before). And Ko is going to Frankfurt with me, which will be nice (not just because he'll help me with the luggage).

I have realized that the name of this blog will no longer apply once I move to the US. I'm trying to decide whether this means I should

Not worry about it
Change the name
Stop blogging

Okay, that three lists in one blog. Not too bad.

Happy Männertag!

2010-05-13T08:19:00.004-04:00

It's possible that you're unaware of this, but today is both the day that celebrates Christ's return to heaven (Christi Himmelfahrt in German) and Männertag (Man's Day). I'm not sure how these two events are related, but the Man's Day part of it means that German men take beer into the mountains and hike and drink. Sometimes the don't really do the hiking part, so the streets of Jena will be FULL of drunk German men today. Did I mention that this hiking/beer drinking thing is an official holiday? Or maybe it's the whole Jesus goes back to heaven thing. At any rate, the stores are closed because people are either drinking or hiding in their houses from the drunk people.

I started celebrating a little early yesterday by drinking a somewhat bizarre mixture of beer and diet vita cola. I should explain that mixing beer with soda is very common in Germany - mixing beer with sprite makes something called a Radler, and mixing beer with coke makes a drink called a Diesel. Both are very nice. I had an unfortunate experience wherein I tried to buy diet coke and my nearby supermarket, but they only had the local brand: Vita Cola. I tried to drink it, but was overwhelmed by the lemon flavor. However, I found that mixing it with beer made it bearable, and gave me the courage I needed to clean out my fridge. Just as an aside, cleaning out my fridge makes me grateful I don't have a particularly acute sense of smell. It didn't occur to me to take pictures of the things I found in my fridge until I was almost done, so here's a picture of a moldy tomato and some fuzzy hummus:

So anyway, the wordiness of this post (and lack of content) is explained by the fact that I've been at home by myself with no one to talk to writing a paper for the past two days. However, I finished the first, somewhat rough, draft an hour ago. Jenny and I are planning on heading down to the city to scope out the drunken revelry in a little while, but she didn't answer the phone when I called. Consequently, I have written this post. And now I will try to call Jenny again. Do you think she's avoiding me?

Picture Update

2010-05-06T14:39:00.003-04:00

I'm sure that you've all been wondering how the cake turned out. Quite well, I think. I mean, I did have to add both butter and eggs to the mix, but I think I managed to pull it off. The difficult part was finding space for 32 candles. But I managed it, and even though he's an old man, Ko blew them all out in one breath. Fortunately, that moment has been documented for posterity.

Going backwards in time, we arrive at Charles last night (almost) in Jena. This is the team at Cheers (Jena's American themed restaurant). Charles is spending a short time in Switzerland before starting his postdoc at Harvard. I'm sad, but I'm planning to visit him this summer. I've never been to Boston.

And, earlier that day Jenny and I were fortunate enough to see history being made. In Jena's town square the worlds largest Kloss (a potato dumpling kind of thing) was made. It took 6 or 8 (I forgot) hours to cook. You can see it before it was eaten on Jenny's blog. But this is what was left:

And this is me eating some. That's right, one euro bought something like a pound of potato dumpling. It was pretty delicious. And I'm a part of history.

Enough procrastination. I'm off to clean my apartment.

Two Days as a Housewife

2010-05-04T10:09:00.003-04:00

I'm not sure if I'm cut out for this housewife thing. This is my second day hanging out at Ko's house while he works. It's a little strange. Technically, I'm finished with work so I thought I'd come spend some time here in Goettingen. Plus, today is Ko's birthday, so I'm celebrating with him.

I still have some stuff to do at the lab in Jena (most importantly, to write a paper before I leave), so I spent yesterday working on that mostly. I also went shopping and made dinner. See! Totally housewifey. The problem is that by the time Ko came home at six I was desperate to talk to someone. I have a tendency to get sort of weird and broody when left to my own devices all day long.

Today I've managed to avoid doing work. About two years ago, Mom gave me 120 Deutsche Marks left over from her 1992 trip to Europe. Since my time in Germany is fast running out, I figured out that they could be exchanged at any national bank branch. Goettingen has one (Jena doesn't). Anyway, the good part of the story is that the 120 Marks were worth €61.36. The sad part of the story is that it took more than an hour to walk to the bank, partly because I walked the wrong way for about 15 minutes. Good exercise, anyway, especially since I walked back, afterwards. Mom also gave me 1000 lire, but I'm not quite sure what to do with those.

On the way back, I stopped to buy a cake mix to make Ko a birthday cake tonight. A good housewife would probably make one from scratch, but as I said, I'm not sure I'm cut out for a life of domesticity. We're also going out to dinner somewhere. I'm going to point out to him that Mom is the one who really bought it, way back in 1992.

Okay, I'm off to bake a cake!

JOB

2010-04-20T13:05:00.002-04:00

The news is: I have one.

I'm very excited. I'm not going to put the name of the school here in case someone stumbles across it and I get fired before I even start for having some alcohol related posts here somewhere. But it's a liberal arts college and a HBCU. If that's not enough information, email me and I'll tell you about it. I start at the beginning of August, and I've been looking at houses to rent today instead of doing work.

Now I need advice - how do you do this sort of thing? They sent me a letter with a salary on it. Am I supposed to negotiate? Also, should I try to get things like moving expenses? I asked if they had start up funds for labs and they said no. I mean, most of the advice I've gotten before seems to pertain to much bigger, public universities. What's the standard in this case?

In the meantime, let's all be excited that I'll have a source of income and health insurance next year. And since the job is tenure track, possibly forever.

In Which I Justify My Unenthusiastic Blogging

2010-04-15T01:11:00.002-04:00

I know that you've all noticed the deteriorating quality of this blog recently. I just can't seem to work up the energy to comment on anything really. For example, just the other day the New York Times printed (by which I mean posted, of course) and article called "Unshaven Women: Free Spirits or Just Unkempt?" and I started working on my rant in my head about beauty standards and policing gender roles (learned that phrase from my sister - can you tell?), but I just couldn't motivate myself to finish it.

And then, yesterday I found the NPR game where you have to match world leaders' names to their pictures. It turns out that it took me 14 tries to get the 12 names in the first game. After that I got everyone. I blame my mistakes on NPR, actually, since radio doesn't help you figure out what people look like. But this is all you get by way of a post about it.

Of course, my favorite topic is the weather, and I've skipped such fascinating topics as "Why the H*** is it still so F***ing Cold Here?" and "The Trees are Blooming Outside My Lab Window: I Think That's Nice."

The reason that I can't bring myself to get motivated to write about stuff is that I'm being crushed by uncertainty. See, Jenny has this friend who seems to be bumming around Thailand studying yoga and posting lots of pictures of herself (wearing face glitter, mostly) on facebook. This sort of thing inspires Jenny to wonder why her life doesn't have more adventure. Not me. This sort of thing inspires me to wonder whether glitter girl has health insurance.

Fundamentally, the issue is that I'm risk-averse. I'm not spontaneous, and I'm only fun in very controlled circumstances. And (just like 2 years ago) I'm in a situation where I don't know what's going to happen in the next couple of months. I think it'll be okay - I have 2 phone interviews next week. Both, as it turns out, are for temporary positions, making it likely that I'll be in this same situation in a couple more years.

There are other issues of course. I'll almost certainly be far away from Ko. Last night I dreamed that I had an interview in Chicago (where he's had a post-doc lined up for months) and I was so excited. In reality, I got two rejections (sent by different people) from the same Chicago college. I guess the really wanted me to know. It's still slightly possible that I could end up there, but only slightly. So we'll have to do the long distance thing (an unpleasant option) or break up (more unpleasant).

And then there's the general issue of making friends and leaving them. Actually, I'm rather tired of this. I come to a new place, start to know people, hang out, become friends - and then I have to leave again. I'll try to stay in touch, really, but I'm not going to get a facebook page so it's going to be difficult. I'm worried that I might be using up my friendliness.

I'm trying to think of a way to end this post, but these same thoughts have been going around in my head, and there's no way to end them either. Well, alcohol or sleeping pills, but that doesn't make sense for a blog. I guess I'll go with the traditional approach.

And they all lived happily ever after.

THE END

Easter Weekend: Berlin

2010-04-07T12:06:00.004-04:00

In Germany, both Good Friday and the Monday after Easter are holidays. Ko and I decided to go to Berlin. And, as a very early birthday present, he bought me tickets to the opera. Here are some pictures from our trip. This is me out in front of one of Berlin's most famous landmarks, the Brandenburg Gate (or Tor, in German).

Click on it for other pictures, including some of Ko and me dressed up for the opera.

It's time you knew...

2010-04-01T10:43:00.000-04:00

Also, you have a spider on your face.

Get to know me, 2010 edition

2010-03-22T13:37:00.003-04:00

Mom sent this to me today, and rather than ignore it like I usually do, I'm posting it on my blog. Actually, I'm pretty sure I did this last year also. Anyway, here it is. And, if you reading it consider posting it yourself. Or not. Whatever.

Welcome to the 2010 edition of getting to know your Friends. ' press FORWARD then change all the answers so they apply to you, and then send this to your friends including the person who sent it to you. The theory is that you will learn a lot of little things about your friends that you might not have known!

1. What time did you get up this morning?	6:30
2. Diamonds or pearls?	Pearls, not that I own either.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?	"Men Who Stare at Goats" or, as it was advertised "Männer die auf Ziegen starren (OmU)"
4. What is your favorite TV show?	Whatever I'm watching at the time. Currently, "Star Trek Voyager"
5. What do you usually have for breakfast	An English Muffin with cheese or peanutbutter or something.
6. What is your middle name?	Katherine
7. What food do you dislike?	Boiled Eggs
8. What is your favorite CD at the moment?	Old 97's "Hit By A Train"
9. What kind of car do you drive?	My feet
11. What characteristic do you despise?	People who talk baby talk to non-babies
12. Favorite item of clothing?	hooded sweatshirt
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?	New Zealand
14. Favorite brand of clothing?	Banana Republic
15. Where would you retire?	Retirement is not even something I can conceive of.
16. What was your most memorable birthday?	I'm not sure, but I'm going to an Opera in Berlin for the next one (30 - yikes!)
17. Favorite sport to watch?	Anything short that doesn't require me to pay attention for a long time. Like bull riding or luge.
18. Furthest place you are sending this?	How far does the internet go?
19. Person you expect to send it back first?	I think Sara T. did it last year.
20. When is your birthday?	May 23
21. Are you a morning person or a night person?	I think afternoon
22. What is your shoe size?	Oh, man! Fine 12.
23. Pets?	Sammy is coming to live with me when I move back to the U.S. But none currently.
24. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us?	I'm going to Atlanta for a job interview tomorrow. And I should be packing instead of this.
25. What did you want to be when u grew up?	An astronaut. What else?
26. How are you today?	Thirsty. Also, forgetful. I left my wallet in the lab this afternoon.
27. What is your favorite candy?	Chocolate and pepperment
28. What is your favorite flower?	Daffodils
29. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?	The day I get a job. Not actually on the calendar, but whatever.
30. What are you listening to right now?	My itunes on shuffle. At the moment it's a song from Les Mis
31. What was the last thing you ate?	Some of the chocolate cherry cake that Katha made
32. Do you wish on stars?	not usually
33. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?	green
34. How is the weather right now?	warmish (60s) and overcast
35. The first person you spoke to on the phone today	Jenny. When I called to ask if she'd bring my wallet home from the lab
36. Favorite soft drink?	Coke Light
37. Favorite restaurant?	Maybe the currywust stand? Or the American Bar. I like french fries. I'm so sophisticated
38. Real hair color?	brown
39. What was your favorite toy as a child?	my yellow blanket
40. Summer or winter?	summer
41. Hugs or kisses	hugs
42. Chocolate or Vanilla?	chocolate
43. Coffee or tea?	coffee
44. Do you want your friends to email you back	sure
45. When was the last time you cried?	Walking down the street on my way to work this week, listening to a book on tape. One of the main characters died.
46. What is under your bed?	shoes
47. What did you do last night?	Started packing, then watched an episode of Voyager
48. What are you afraid of?	Not having health insurance next year
49. Salty or sweet?	Salty
50. How many keys on your key ring?	8
51. How many years at your current job?	Two
52. Favorite day of the week?	Saturday
53. How many towns have you lived in?	5
54. Do you make friends easily?	usually
55. How many people will you send this to?	Don't know, 10?
56. How many will respond?	How should I know?

What Invert?

2010-03-15T10:34:00.002-04:00

This is for everyone from Georgia Tech - apparently this video featured at the latest Benthic Ecology meeting. Awesome.

International Food

2010-03-13T14:13:00.005-05:00

I'm at Ko's house tonight. We spent most of the afternoon cooking a mediocre meal and a really good dessert (involving pineapples, whipped cream, and contreau). However it was the shopping that really amused me. It turns out that Goettingen has an international section in the Real (sort of like a German Walmart). More excitingly, there's a USA shelf. I took a picture to document it.

The funny thing is that these are exactly the sort of things you can't find in Germany. I had been explaining to Ko that very morning about poptarts. Also exciting - the barbeque sauce. I tried a German kind and it was so bad that I wasn't brave enough to geth another one. There are a couple of things I'd like to see added though:

Root beer
Salsa that doesn't have sugar in it (actually, the Mexico shelf was directly to the left, but it was entirely stocked with this weird brand of disgusting foods. Trust me, I've tried it.)
Chocolate chips
Mixes to go with alcohol. You know, like margerita mix or sour mix
Black beans and or pinto beans without sugar in them. I know, this should probably also go in Mexico.
Caro syrup
Creamed corn

Okay, that's all I've got at the moment. I'm really impressed by the crisco. The only problem was when I tried to explain to Ko what it is, exactly.

Rhymes with "Hope"

2010-03-09T05:53:00.004-05:00

It's been so long since my last post, I've been feeling like this one should be extra super mega great. However, since that's unlikely to happen, I'll just include a bunch of little things that have happened recently. Ready? Okay, let's go.

1. I've had a cold (I told you this post isn't great). I'm mostly recovered now, but I've managed to infect Carsten and Friederike. Hah! So now they're also walking around with tissues.

2. Ko is an uncle as of this morning. His new nephew is named "Joop." I think it's pronounced something like "Yope." According to some research that Friederike did this morning, it's a Dutch version of the name Joseph. However, I don't know why he gets bent out of shape when I mention that my imaginary child's name is Aslo.

3. Carsten told me that New Balance shoes are worn by white supremacists in Germany. Apparently it's because they have a big "N" for Nazi on them. I had no idea, but it's unlikely that I'm going to change. They offer a wide range of sizes and widths.

4. The weather has rewinterized. It snowed this weekend, and apparently it's going to be below freezing for some time.

5. I'll be in Atlanta this month. I have a job interview nearby, and I'll stay around for the weekend of March 27-28. It's not much time, but if I get the job I'll be around a lot more.

Also, sorry about the not so delicate nature of the poll on the side. It's just that Jenny told me that for most people it's at 10:30 at night, but that's not the case for me at all.

Switzerland, 2010

2010-02-23T02:52:00.004-05:00

Some of Georg's current lab started with him in at the EPFL in Switzerland. And, because Matt is one of them, almost all of us took a road trip down to Lausanne this weekend.

Here's a picture. Click on it for more. It was a pretty good trip. Charles parents are amazingly nice, and I've never eaten so much cheese. Also, Matt did a really good job with his public defense. He's moved to Lausanne, now, so I think it's goodbye forever. However, he told me I can expect one email per year, so I'm looking forward to that.

Even though this makes me a bad American...

2010-02-07T15:42:00.004-05:00

Jenny's been writing about things she likes about Germany recently. And, since tonight is the Superbowl, I thought I'd mention how much I like the fact that Germany is missing certain things that I've never liked about the U.S.

1. American Football. I don't like it. College, professional, whatever. I mean, it in itself is not so bad, I just don't like the way in turns people into lunatics who urinate in public places and keep me from parking on days when I really need to get to the lab. Sure, soccer is bad in Europe, but the scary police officers in the riot gear keep things under control. Plus, the stadium for the Jena team is nowhere near the lab, so that makes things much better.

2. Valentine's Day. This is most likely the stupidest holiday ever. At home you can't escape it, it's everywhere. I've found that it makes me sad when I'm not dating someone, and sadder when I am. I mean, it's hard to get expectations low enough. So I've adopted the strategy of pretending like it doesn't exist, which is much easier in Germany.

3. Drunk Men Yelling Stuff at You. It has nothing to do with how attractive I am, living in Atlanta people yelled at me or honked at me all the time. Here, this doesn't happen. Even when I walk past a crowd of rowdy college boys. Nothing. Okay, at first I felt somewhat unattractive because I wasn't getting the attention, but feeling safe while I walk down the street is more that worth it.

That's all for now. I hope y'all enjoy the Superbowl. I will miss the Superbowl food. Germans don't really understand how delicious a dip can be. Ranch dressing doesn't even exist here. Horrifying, I know.

Sideways Windmill

2010-02-01T15:08:00.003-05:00

From my trip to The Netherlands. I couldn't seem to make it rightside up. But enjoy.

Positive Energy Is Starting To Run Out

2010-01-27T03:29:00.003-05:00

Update on Job Search:

Nothing yet. I'm very frustrated and anxious, but more or less holding it together.

Occasionally I get something like this:

Dear Applicant,

Thank you for your interest in our Assistant Professor of Biology position. I regret to inform you that the position has been filled. Although we received materials from more than fifty very qualified applicants, please be assured that each application was reviewed with careful consideration by the entire faculty of the Division of Natural Sciences. Best wishes for a successful job search.

Yeah. Thanks. I didn't want to work at your crappy school anyway.

No word from the place in FL yet, but it's not expected. However, I know that they know whether or not I'm hired. They're waiting for approval from the Provost. It's a slow process. If I didn't get this job I'm going to be discouraged. Just think of this as a warning for those of you who serve as my support network.

On the other hand, there are so many great jobs to apply for. Consider this one:

The Department of Biology at Indiana State University invites applications for a tenure track position focused on the conservation and biology of bats. This position is available at the Assistant or Associate Professor level. Applicants should have a Ph.D. in biology or related area, and demonstrated research expertise in bat biology and conservation. Postdoctoral experience or equivalent is desirable.

All of you bat biologists should look into that. Also, if you're qualified to teach Anatomy and Physiology, I know of approximately 7,000 jobs that you can have. See, I didn't get a PhD in anatomy (or physiology) because I thought that we had pretty much figured that stuff out.

Okay, I'm stopping this now, because it sounds more bitter than I had intended. I think the sun is shining right now (objects are casting shadows, which is unusual for a German winter) so I'm going to focus on that and write some more cover letters.

Things I Don't Understand

2010-01-19T12:39:00.003-05:00

One of the frustrating things about living in a country where you don't speak the language is that you have no idea what's going on much of the time.

For example, once Ko and I were standing at a traffic light when some man came and stood really close to me (and Germans stand farther apart from each other than Americans). Then he started to gently stroke the traffic light pole. He had something metal in his hand, so it made a distinct sound each time. I took a step away from him. Up and down, up and down. Eventually the light changed and he walked away.

In another case, I saw a crowd of men dressed as clowns talking to an H & M poster with a pretty woman on it. This may have been a bachelor party, but I can't be sure.

And my apartment building is always putting up signs I don't understand. I try to remember what the words are so I can look them up when I get upstairs, but that rarely happens. The other day I saw something that seemed to indicate something about filming a something, which I assumed I misunderstood, but then it turned out that the next day there was a film crew outside my building. Okay, so I didn't see any actual cameras, but I did clearly see a wardrobe trailer and a catering trailer. And many of the other trailers were labeled with a picture of a video camera. Hopefully my building will end up one TV at some point, so keep an eye out.

Because today is not a holiday in Germany

2010-01-18T13:50:00.002-05:00

Also, I'm feeling sort of uninspired when it comes to posting. At some point I'll give you an update of my life, but in the meantime, here's something not at all surprising. You can read the article here.

Snow on my Balcony

2010-01-13T01:53:00.002-05:00

I keep thinking I'll take pictures on my way to work, but it hasn't happened. I know people get tired of hearing this, but it's cold here. It snowed all weekend and this is how my balcony looks now:

I stuck a ruler in the middle of it - 20cm. I think we've had a bit more than that, but the balcony is slightly protected.

Okay, I'll try to keep weather related posts to a minimum. But I just wanted you to get an idea.

Pie

2010-01-06T06:15:00.002-05:00

I'm at a job interview today. First - man are they exhausting. But the people have been really nice, so that's good. The worst question so far: If your life were a pie, how would you divide it between your personal life/sleep, teaching, research, and service.

There's a graph builder over at the graph jam link on the side, if anyone actually wants to make their life a pie.

Also, I should point out that the biology people thought that was a hilarious question. It was during my special meeting with the active teaching committee. I was their first interviewee.

10 minute break post

2010-01-01T15:45:00.002-05:00

I'm rewarding myself for practicing my job talk with this short break to post update my loyal readers about my life. I have a job interview next week. I'm excited, but also nervous. Especially since I get to do a research presentation and teach a class. It's sort of tricky, since the students won't actually be there, but we'll see how it goes. Anyway, research presentation is made. Lesson plans will be prepared after they tell me what the subject is. I'm trying to be cool about it.

In other news, Sammy got a haircut. He hasn't stopped shivering since. He's curled up in my down coat on the chair beside me shivering right now. It's possibly the most pathetic thing ever.

I discovered a new TV show this morning. It's called "Dancing Your Ass Off." Have other people seen that? It's where fat people compete to loose weight through dancing. Kind of awesome. I'm a little concerned that when I move back to the U.S. I won't be able to handle the English TV, and I'll just sit in front of it all day, drooling.

I hope that people had nice New Year's Eves. Mine was lame but pleasant. Mom and I made hamburgers and guacamole and watched a 30 Rock marathon. I just wasn't excited about the possibility of going to a bar. Jeez. I'm an old lady already.

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T14:19:00.003-05:00

I hope everyone is having a great Christmas, although for those of you in Europe, I guess it's almost over. I'm hanging out with my family, listening to my sister and uncle debate the relative merits of chainsaw versus axe. Fascinating.

Later, we are going to see Sherlock Holmes. It's in English, like all the movies here. That's awesome.

Here's a picture of the Christmas tree, but it's quite grainy. Still, you get the idea.

The View From My Window

2009-12-16T03:35:00.006-05:00

Good morning! I took this video to show you guys that it's snowing hard here, but apparently snowflakes (which, as I learned last night are called "ice flowers" in German) don't show up well on my digital camera film.

At any rate, you can see the view from my balcony. The cats are fascinated and confused. They were delighted when I let them out, and now they're staring longingly at the window. Also, please note the appearance of my snuggie sleeve in the video. That is what I'm wearing. Also, a tank top, underwear, and leg warmers. Ah, the joys of working at home.

Also, I finally posted another poll. Sorry, I know I did one about Christmas music last year, but this one is slightly different, and it's likely that you didn't remember anyway.

***UPDATE***

Ko points out that "Eisblumen" are actual frost patterns, usually on glass. Meanwhile, according to Leo, snowflake is "Märzbecher."

Also, Charles suggested that if I jumped off my balcony I could get better snowflake video, since then I'd be moving at the same speed as the snow. I have not yet attempted this.

Dresden Christmas Market

2009-12-15T05:05:00.008-05:00

You know that there must be something nice about a Christmas market if it can be cold, crowded, and involve shopping - and, somehow, I still enjoy it.

Ko and I went to Dresden last weekend to experience one of the biggest Christmas markets, right about the time that temperatures went from, say 40 degrees in Germany to 20. It was big difference, and very, very cold.

However, I did manage to get all the things that I needed to get, so if you requested that I purchase something for you, it's has been accomplished. So, here are some pictures of the Christmas market.

I spent most of the day pointing out individual snowflakes to Ko. Apparently it really snowed during the night, because this was the view from our hotel the next morning.

Okay, not the best picture, but you get the idea.

So now I'm back in Jena (where it's also cold and snowy) trying to get stuff done before I leave for the holidays. I'll be flying out on Dec. 20, so mark your calendars.

This Weekend

2009-12-07T11:28:00.002-05:00

This weekend I was in Goettingen again. Things that happened included:

A visit from St. Nicholas. He brought me a book and a chocolate letter "E."
A moment in which I totally broke down over the job stress deal. Ko handled it very well.
The purchase of a beret. I'm not sure if it's cute or if it makes my head look like a mushroom. My head was cold, okay?
The watching of many episodes of "Bones." Thanks Katy!
Ko and I baked a chocolate coconut cake. Here's the picture:

St. Nicholas Day

2009-12-03T03:21:00.004-05:00

I've been learning about the Dutch holiday, "St. Nicholas Day." Ko refers to the American Santa Claus as "an abomination," which I think it rather harsh. However, many of the Dutch traditions are quite different (certain people have objected, probably fairly, to the term "bizarre").

Here's the deal: St. Nicholas lives in Spain most of the year. He comes to The Netherlands on a steamboat with his horse, Amerigo. He also comes with a little friend, called "Zwarte Piet," or "Black Pete." They leave presents in your shoes on the night of December 5.

Here's a picture of St. Nicholas:

It's quite easy to see how Santa Claus could come from this guy. The thing that really gets me, though, is Black Pete.

It's easy to see why this tradition doesn't really go over that well in the U.S. I was alone in being shocked that a white guy would put on black make-up and play the good Saint's comic sidekick. But he's everywhere in the Netherlands. Ko assures me that he's black because he shovels coal on the steamboat. However, according to Wikipedia, that's only one possible explanation. I also enjoyed this particular quote in the article:

"If they have been really bad, Black Pete may take them back to Spain in his sack, a tradition now frowned upon under the influence of modern child psychology."

Ko seemed to have been told about getting taken back to Spain in a sack, so perhaps it's not that frowned upon.

Anyway, I had already heard of some of this because of David Sedaris story "Six to Eight Black Men." Ko swears that this is not the case, that Black Pete has never been a slave, and his skin is only that color because of the coal. I'll leave it to you to decide.

Phone Interview!

2009-12-01T03:44:00.003-05:00

I have my first phone interview at 6:00 pm tonight (noon, EST). It's at a small (public) liberal arts university in the NE. I'm very, very excited. I also interpret this to mean that my application is good enough to warrant consideration generally.

I'll let you know how it goes.

***Update****

Not great, I think. I'll tell you about it in more detail tomorrow, but we'll maybe chalk this one up to "learning experience."

Please God, Let me get a job!

2009-11-21T06:44:00.002-05:00

Anyone who has spoken to me since sometime in October knows that I'm currently applying for faculty jobs. My Ph.D. adviser recommended that I apply to 30. I'm currently about 2/3 of the way through the (grueling) process.

So far, I've heard from none of the colleges or universities, except the ones that were nice enough to send me an acknowledgment of my application (and sometime to ask me to fill out a survey about my race and gender). Two colleges sent me nice letters or e-mails giving me an approximate time line for the process. If those schools are similar to the others, I should start to hear back from late November to late December.

I really hate the automated responses - something like "We don't have time to communication with people directly. If you get the job, we'll tell you."

The thing that's absolutely driving me crazy here is that I have no idea how good my chances are. How many applications do these colleges get? I read an article online (one of those "How to apply to a liberal arts college" things) in which the author said he'd never gotten less than 100 applications for a job. Which, frankly, makes me want to throw up a bit.

I'm also concerned that there's some sort of inside applicant at these schools, and they've just posted the job to follow the rules. Really, Dr. Smith's nephew Jason is going to get the job no matter how good my application is. Sadly, I'm not anyone's inside candidate. Sigh.

Also, this application process is making me (more) cynical. At first, I was totally sincere in every sentence that I wrote. "The personal attention St. Fancypants College pays to each student makes it an ideal learning environment." Now I find myself just using search and replace: St. Fancypants becomes Sterling & Snootyton College. Which, incidently, is also has an ideal learning environment.

And I have a terrible fear that I'll accidently leave in the wrong college name, or not make it personal enough, or forget to attach my teaching statement.... Very many things could go wrong.

Fortunately, I've finished all the applications due in November, so I took a break last week. I was pleased to note that I greatly prefer doing actual science to applying for jobs. But now I've got to get back to it. I've got 5 to complete before Wednesday (when I go to the Netherlands to eat cheese and clomp around in wooden shoes).

I'll keep you guys posted on the job search process. In the meantime - have any of you been on faculty search committees? Do you know what my chances are?

It's been more than a week. I have no excuse.

2009-11-17T11:53:00.004-05:00

Carsten commented that I haven't updated my blog for a long time. That's true. My goal was always to update once a week, and here it's been 8 days since you've heard anything from me. Sorry folks. Don't worry, though - I should have some exciting adventures coming up soon. Over Thanksgiving weekend I'm going to the Netherlands with Ko. Then there's the blog I've planned for St. Nicholas Day, where I explain bizarre Dutch customs to you. Not to mention Christmasy things, like a trip to Dresden to eat stollen and drink gluehwein. I mean, that's why I'm going anyway.

Tonight, however, I'm going to Charles' house. We're working our way through the original Star Trek movies. Tonight: "The Search for Spock."

I know, I know, my life is so much more exciting than yours. Try not to be jealous.

Fun with Statistics

2009-11-09T07:42:00.004-05:00

I noticed something interesting on the train this weekend. I was riding to Goettingen, and my train car was very crowded. In fact, 12 people were standing in the aisle. To my surprise, I noticed that they were all women. However, 19 of the 36 people with seats were men. I found myself wondering if this could be a coincidence, so I did a Fisher's Exact Test to figure it out.

Here are the results:

Table Analyzed	Data 1

Fisher's exact test

P value	0.0013
P value summary	**
One- or two-sided	Two-sided
Statistically significant? (alpha<0.05)	Yes

Data analyzed	Men	Women	Total
sitting	19	17	36
standing	0	12	12
Total	19	29	48

As you can see, there's only a 0.13% chance that such a distribution could happen by chance*, making this results significant.

Now the question is, why? Initially I thought it was because men are pushier and get into the train faster. Alternately, it could be mostly women getting on in Jena and the men were already sitting down. Anyone have any other hypotheses?

* Feel free to criticize my stats or reanalyze if you like.

7 Quick Things

2009-11-04T10:43:00.006-05:00

It's list time! Which is probably why I should sign up for twitter, since my thoughts rarely take more than 140 characters. Oh well. This way I can save them up.

1. I can't stop reading the comments on this post. Read into it what you will.

2. My mom sent me some temporary Halloween tattoos. Ergo, I have a tattoo of a bat on my neck. I think it make me look dangery.

3. I have sent away 9 job applications this week, bringing me to 30% of my goal. I plan to send 4 more out today, which would get me 43% of the way there.

4. I need to get a gift for Ko's parents when I visit them at the end of this month. His mother can't eat gluten or sugar. Ideas?

5. Damn, flights are expensive this year. How much is a direct flight home for Christmas really worth?

6. I thought I might have been somewhat unique in having fall as my favorite season. Turns out that I'm with the majority of my blog readers.

7. Stollen is already in the stores here, and I've really come to enjoy it. I'll miss it next year.

Happy Halloween!!

2009-11-01T13:22:00.006-05:00

This year I celebrated a really low key Halloween. No costumes, no party. However, I did show Ko and Charles how to carve pumpkins. It was the first time for both of them. Here they are, hard at work:

Ko and Charles are actually both very detail oriented people, so this is exactly the sort of thing that they do really well. They're the most impressive first time pumpkins ever. Of course, many people first carve pumpkins as children, so they have that advantage. Here's the finished product. Can you guess who carved which pumpkin? Here's a hint - mine is a pumpkin portrait of someone who vomited on my bed the day before.

And then Charles brought some very fancy cheese over, and we ate it. Delicious. Here's Charles doing some fancy scraping thing to prepare the tête de moine (monk's head) cheese.

I'm going to end this post now, so that I can light the pumpkins again. I know that Halloween is over, but I won't get another chance to next year, so I'm going to enjoy the eerie glow.

Fall Back

2009-10-26T02:50:00.003-04:00

It's still a week away in the U.S., but here in Germany we set our clocks back an hour this weekend. I was in Goettingen, visiting Ko. Actually, neither of us realized it until almost time to get my train on Sunday. Fortunately, Ko discovered the time change, and we decided to go for a walk around the fields north of Goettingen.

I think we made the right choice about what to do with our extra hour. The weather was sunny (!), and not too cold, the leaves are changing colors, and the light had that specific quality that sunlight has in the fall - warm and sort of golden. Sadly, I didn't bring my camera with me, so you'll just have to believe me.

That's sort of what this post is about. What are you going to do with your extra hour? Sleep? Read? Get some extra work done? People always want more time, and once a year we get a little bit of it. Enjoy!

****UPDATE*****

Here's Charles suggestion about what to do with the extra hour:

I heart Lorrie Moore

2009-10-18T08:47:00.003-04:00

I finished Lorrie Moore's new novel, "A Gate at the Stairs" this morning. I usually don't write book reviews, because I can hardly ever think of anything to say except "it was good." Sometimes I just recount sections of the book, like "remember that part where she goes through the stones and back in time? That was awesome."

But this book is in my head, and the other option is blogging about the cats (who, by the way, managed to get the drawer so far out that it fell onto the floor while I was talking to Ko last night. Is this normal for cats?). Anyway, this isn't so much a book review as it is a love letter to Lorrie Moore (if you find this blog somehow, Ms. Moore - I love you).

Here's the thing about reading something Moore writes: It makes me want to write fiction at the same time it makes me dispair that I'll never be able to write fiction like her. I've been working on job applications this weekend, writing sentances like "The opportunity to teach at your institution would be a great opportunity," so I think I'm probably right to dispair. When I was a senior in college, Katy had a book of short stories that included "You're Ugly, Too." She was reading it and laughing, so eventually she had to read it out loud so that I could be in on the joke too. It was the first thing I'd ever read of Moore, and Katy and I spent the rest of the year making obscure references to that story (e.g., "Heidi wouldn't complain") that no one else understood.

Since that time I've been reading everything that she's written. I suppose it doesn't hurt that she writes a lot about isolated women in academic settings. But because her writing is so funny I find it a delight rather than being a depressing reminder of my own life. And, oh, the wordplay. I bet she can work a Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle with no trouble.

The main character in this novel is who I like to think I was in college, except that I doubt I was either as self-aware or as funny as Tassie. I'm going to miss her - I can literally say that when I read this book I both laughed and cried. Outloud. Even though I was alone in my apartment. Well, I guess the cats were there too, but they're not people. I haven't lived the spinster life long enough to get confused on that point.

La Casa de los Gatos

2009-10-14T01:58:00.004-04:00

While Jenny is hanging around in Florida, I'm keeping her cats. Due to my sister's allergies (and my mother's belief that animals are supposed to live outside), I've never lived with cats before. There are two of them, and yet it seems like there are so many more. At first they would disappear behind the bed for long stretches of time, causing me to believe that they'd jumped off the balcony, but now they're more comfortable with me and they rarely hide anymore. Here's a picture of Ebony in a drawer.

She likes it there. Also, at first I tied the doors to my wardrobe closed so that she couldn't get in, but she spent all night tugging at the door, so now I've given up and she sleeps on my sweaters. Also, I found cat hair on my orange this morning (sort of alarming, because I had just peeled the orange - either it was contaminated really quickly or somehow they managed to get hair inside the orange peel).

I have a picture of the other cat, Mattie, which I'll post soon. She's harder to catch, since she doesn't often hold still for a picture.

The 2009 Ig Nobel Prize Winners

2009-10-12T03:12:00.002-04:00

Okay, I suck. It's been more than a week since I've posted a blog. But really, my constant confusion over what I should do with my life has prevented me from coming up with hilarious stories about the zany things that Germans do. Martin is in the U.S. now, so those of you in New York (so, no one) or Florida (Jenny) have recently seen some wacky German antics.

I'll keep my eyes peeled for more, but in the meantime, enjoy this year's igNobel prizes. Drumroll please....

VETERINARY MEDICINE PRIZE: Catherine Douglas and Peter Rowlinson of Newcastle University, Newcastle-Upon-Tyne, UK, for showing that cows who have names give more milk than cows that are nameless.

PEACE PRIZE: Stephan Bolliger, Steffen Ross, Lars Oesterhelweg, Michael Thali and Beat Kneubuehl of the University of Bern, Switzerland, for determining — by experiment — whether it is better to be smashed over the head with a full bottle of beer or with an empty bottle.

ECONOMICS PRIZE: The directors, executives, and auditors of four Icelandic banks — Kaupthing Bank, Landsbanki, Glitnir Bank, and Central Bank of Iceland — for demonstrating that tiny banks can be rapidly transformed into huge banks, and vice versa — and for demonstrating that similar things can be done to an entire national economy.

CHEMISTRY PRIZE: Javier Morales, Miguel Apátiga, and Victor M. Castaño of Universidad Nacional Autónoma de México, for creating diamonds from liquid — specifically from tequila.

MEDICINE PRIZE: Donald L. Unger, of Thousand Oaks, California, USA, for investigating a possible cause of arthritis of the fingers, by diligently cracking the knuckles of his left hand — but never cracking the knuckles of his right hand — every day for more than sixty (60) years.

PHYSICS PRIZE: Katherine K. Whitcome of the University of Cincinnati, USA, Daniel E. Lieberman of Harvard University, USA, and Liza J. Shapiro of the University of Texas, USA, for analytically determining why pregnant women don't tip over.

LITERATURE PRIZE: Ireland's police service (An Garda Siochana), for writing and presenting more than fifty traffic tickets to the most frequent driving offender in the country — Prawo Jazdy — whose name in Polish means "Driving License".

PUBLIC HEALTH PRIZE: Elena N. Bodnar, Raphael C. Lee, and Sandra Marijan of Chicago, Illinois, USA, for inventing a brassiere that, in an emergency, can be quickly converted into a pair of protective face masks, one for the brassiere wearer and one to be given to some needy bystander.

MATHEMATICS PRIZE: Gideon Gono, governor of Zimbabwe’s Reserve Bank, for giving people a simple, everyday way to cope with a wide range of numbers — from very small to very big — by having his bank print bank notes with denominations ranging from one cent ($.01) to one hundred trillion dollars ($100,000,000,000,000).

BIOLOGY PRIZE: Fumiaki Taguchi, Song Guofu, and Zhang Guanglei of Kitasato University Graduate School of Medical Sciences in Sagamihara, Japan, for demonstrating that kitchen refuse can be reduced more than 90% in mass by using bacteria extracted from the feces of giant pandas.

What I think: Roman Polanski

2009-10-02T11:10:00.002-04:00

I think that everyone else might be sort of over this story, but I've been thinking a lot this week about Roman Polanski. Mr. Polanski is a famous and talented filmmaker. He has a tragic personal story - his parents were killed in the Holocaust and his pregnant wife was murdered.

Everyone knows by now that he was arrested this week in Switzerland for "having sex" with a 13 year old girl 30 years ago. After pleading guilty he fled the country and has lived in France ever since.

Many people, including a lot of famous Hollywood ones think that this is a politically motivated arrest - ridiculous after so many years. CNN keeps playing a clip of a French guy claiming that by asking Switzerland to arrest Polanski we're seeing the "scary America."

I managed to work myself up into an outrage about this case earlier. People: He. Raped. A. Child. He brought a 13 year old girl to his house, took naked pictures of her, gave her alcohol and drugs, and even after she repeatedly said no and asked if she could go home, raped her. What made me much, much angrier was reading this child's testimony before the grand jury. I'll spare you the sordid details, but if you're interested, you can find it here. The fact that he's famous, the fact that his life hasn't been easy, and even the fact that it took place a long time ago shouldn't matter here.

Where does France get off criticizing the U.S. (and Switzerland) for trying to bring this man to justice? Do they have a "oh, you Americans and your prudish sexual hang-ups" perspective on the situation? Is raping children okay in France? Maybe it's just okay for famous people? Rape is a crime. A very serious crime. And if you plead guilty to a crime, you should be punished for it. The fact that it happened 30 plus years ago is irrelevant. In fact, it's only because the man ran away from his punishment (a fact that shouldn't get him off any easier) that the situation hasn't been dealt with by now.

So, my official opinion then: Raping children is wrong. So is running away after you're caught. Hollywood, France, and anyone else who thinks that the U.S. is overreacting to case must disagree with me, because it's hard for me to figure out why you'd support Polanski otherwise.

Wordwide Rankings

2009-09-29T12:36:00.002-04:00

Just in case you were wondering, here's a bit of information I came across today. I choose not to comment on the results, but please, if you have an opinion, feel free to share.

WORLD'S WORST LOVERS:

1. Germany (too smelly)

2. England (too lazy)

3. Sweden (too quick)

4. Holland (too dominating)

5. America (too rough)

6. Greece (too lovey-dovey)

7. Wales (too selfish)

8. Scotland (too loud)

9. Turkey (too sweaty)

10. Russia (too hairy)

In contrast, here are the best lovers. Sadly, there aren't any reasons given here.

WORLD'S BEST LOVERS

1. Spain

2. Brazil

3. Italy

4. France

5. Ireland

6. South Africa

7. Australia

8. New Zealand

9. Denmark

10. Canada

Pictures from Greece

2009-09-24T01:51:00.003-04:00

Hello loyal readers! Did you miss me? I got back from Greece on Tuesday evening, but this is the first chance I've had to write a blog. I've got a student now, and so I've got to spend all day working. It's tricky. You can't be like "you go down the the microscope, I've got to post a blog now." Fortunately, I have internet at home now.

Anyway, Greece is a lovely country. Lots of old stuff. Really old, in fact. Apparently, people have be living in Athens for 5000 years. Also, the Mediterranean is very blue. We've all heard this before, but I'm always amazed. Overall, I had a very nice time and I still like Ko, so that's good. Here are some of my pictures (click on it to get to the others). No particular order. I'll try to add tags later. Anyway, this particular picture is of a street in Napflio.

Also, Flickr didn't give me enough space to include this, so here's a video of a place we ate lunch one day. I forced Ko to sit outside, even though it was very, very windy. He was a reasonably good sport though. We got a little splashed by the waves, but it wasn't so bad.

Okay, that's all for today guys. I've got to find my shoes and brush my teeth before I make it to work. I'll share some more stories later.

Greece!

2009-09-13T05:16:00.001-04:00

Ko and I are walking out the door right now to go to Greece, so I won't be updating the blog for a little while. Don't worry, we'll have pictures when I get back.

No More Soup!

2009-09-09T02:47:00.002-04:00

Since Katy would like to look at something other than the poop soup, here's something Sara sent to me the other day. Funnier than the hedgehog, but slightly less cute. Only slightly.

Okay, hopefully that put the "sausage" out of your mind. But, while you're here, I'd like to share this with you. I couldn't embed it in the blog, but if you're interested follow the link. It's an interactive NPR thing showing what the various health insurance proposals could mean for you depending on which group you're in now. I find it helpful, especially if you're like Jenny and have started a facebook war on the subject.

Yesterday's Lunch

2009-09-04T07:51:00.002-04:00

Martin asked that I post this picture of this delicious lentil soup served in the student dining hall yesterday and today. It actually wasn't that bad, but look at the sausage. Mmmmm. Remind you of anything?

Butterfly in the Sky

2009-08-30T11:21:00.004-04:00

I heard on NPR that Friday was the last day of Reading Rainbow. Apparently, there's a shift in focus away from teaching the love of reading and towards teaching the how of reading. It was on for 26 years - starting in 1983. Anyway, I thought I'd take the time to thank PBS and LeVar Burton for making this show. I suppose that today's kids have other TV shows, but allow me a moment of nostalgia here.

Also, Reading Rainbow had a kick ass theme song. But you don't have to take my word for it:

Awesomeish

2009-08-25T03:16:00.005-04:00

I'm pretty sure that living in Germany is making my English worse. Partially because I sometimes find myself saying the British word for things (e.g. "I'm tired. I think I'll take the lift to my flat to get my jumper.") but also because Charles (other people too, but mostly him) is trying to deliberately sabotage my beautiful language.

It started out with adding "ish" to the ends of words. As in "this cake is awesomeish." But since then it's deteriorated. Some classic Charles terms include "hotnicity" (i.e.. the charachteristic of being hot) which is closely related to "hotitutde" and the verb "to hotify" (i.e., to heat). My personal favorite was the German/English hybrid word "genauicity" which, I think, means something like "truth."

Anyway, I found this comic this morning that makes me think of Charelian English.

Although he might have actually said "dangerousish" or "exhibits dangerocity."

One Embarassing Thing About Europe

2009-08-19T14:02:00.005-04:00

I get that the prevailing opinion in Europe is different, but let me share the thoughts of almost all Americans.

Sorry, if anyone (and you know who you are) is offended by this. I saw this graph today and I couldn't resist pointing it out.

Stop Embarassing Me, America!

2009-08-17T03:56:00.002-04:00

Astrid came into my lab just a few days ago to ask about the health care debate in the U.S. I believe her question was something like "Is that how you discuss things in your country?"

Yes, sadly. Whenever it's important and we feel strongly about something the conversation degenerates into accusations of "Death Panels." Jenny and I have been ranting to the Europeans about how ridiculous the situation has gotten.

I think that almost all people can agree on certain things:

1. Our current system is not working.
2. Health insurance ought the be available for everyone and reasonably affordable.
3. No one should kill anyone else's grandmother.

As you may know, I'm now living in (socialist?) Germany and the health insurance system seems to work reasonably well. Here are some things I've noticed.

1. People are not afraid of loosing their insurance coverage.
2. People go to the doctor a lot, and seem to be able to choose a doctor.
3. German grandmothers are not subject to death panels.
4. People don't have to wait in line to buy bread.

Now, if we could all talk about this rationally. No one is going to turn the U.S. into Russia. I've started a campaign (by which I mean I e-mailed a link to Jenny) to get people to e-mail Obama. Here's the link. I found it satisfying. I'm considering e-mailing him just to say how my day was.

Misogyny = Violence Against Women = Bad

2009-08-10T08:52:00.003-04:00

This isn't a real post, since I'm not going to take the time to construct even a half-assed argument about it, but take a look at this if you have time.

I agree with Bob Herbert in this piece, of course, but it amazes me and sort of infuriates me that an op-ed article can say things like

We would become much more sane, much healthier, as a society if we could bring ourselves to acknowledge that misogyny is a serious and pervasive problem...

Really? I'm shocked! And misogyny leads to violence against women? Shocked again! How is it possible that we don't already know this? I'm glad that Bob Herbert wrote this article, I guess, but why are issues so critical to the fabric of our society dealt with and then dismissed in a cursory one page editorial?

Damn you, Michael Pollan!

2009-08-10T02:47:00.003-04:00

It looks like I'm not doing better at posting in August than I did in July. Sorry people - by which I mean sorry Katy and Mom. Maybe I really should start twittering, since most of my observations that I think I'd like to share with you aren't really worthy of a whole blog post. For example, last week we had and International German Teacher conference in Jena, so the town was full of people from all over the world speaking German. It made me a bit worried, because I'm pretty sure the the people I spoke to over the week thought I was a really bad German teacher. But I thought that explaining "No, I live here, it's just that I speak very badly" wasn't better so I let it go.

This particular post, however, did have a point. It's Michael Pollan. I can't decide how I fell about him. He had a lengthy article in the NY Times magazine recently. Basically, the idea was that Americans don't cook anymore, instead we watch competitive cooking shows on TV (i.e., Iron Chef America). He was also interviewed on Fresh Air about it.

Americans don't cook, we don't eat real food, we don't eat good food, we're controlled by giant food corporations. It isn't that I don't agree, it's just that it makes me feel so tired to think about it. Actually, I listened to the Fresh Air interview, went home, and ate Uncle Ben's 2 minute rice for dinner.

That's the whole problem, of course. I got home at 8. I was tired, and the thought of spending at least half an hour cooking something seemed overwhelming. So I ate my bowl of rice while reading, although I had the TV been in English I might have watched a cooking show instead. On some level, I understand that we have time to do the things that we make a priority. As an aside - it drives me crazy when people tell me that they don't have time to read. Mostly because the implication is that they're busier than me. You could read, but instead you choose to work/watch T.V./play soccer/play video games/etc. We do the things that are important.

The same can be said for me and cooking. I like food, but I don't enjoy preparing it. I don't hate it, like say, I hate cleaning the bathroom or something, but I rarely want to do it. So it becomes just another thing that I should do: I should get more exercise, I should do my German homework, I should be a more informed consumer, I should clean my apartment, I should take more care to select and prepare locally grown organic food. But that list makes me exhausted.

Which, I guess, is how the giant food conglomerates get me. I'm not willing to put up a fight and so I'm generally willing to eat the food-like products marketed to me. Because honestly, they're cheap and easy and taste okay. And so I watch Michelle Obama plant her vegetable garden and think I should, I should, I should. But I don't.

I need vacations like Hobbits need breakfasts

2009-08-02T10:53:00.005-04:00

It's official. I'm going to Greece in September. I'm trying to sort of be European about these things (I deserve 30 days of vacation per year!) and not feel bad that I already went to the U.S. this summer. Also, I'm pretty sure that Greece will be awesome. And, sadly, Jena starts to get cold around the end of September so it's an excellent time for a second vacation.

The plan for this trip was hatched by my friend Ko (the one I went to see in Göttingen a while back). Ko has been concerned about how and when he might be introduced to my blog reading public and suggested that this might be a good place to mention him. I had other ideas, but he vetoed them. Probably just as well. Anyway, Ko has wanted to see Greece, and I really enjoyed the setting of "Mamma Mia" so it seemed like a good idea to me. I think it looks sort of like this:

Plus, I keep thinking that I should travel as much as possible while I'm in Europe. If I don't like Ko after spending ten consecutive days with him, then probably it wasn't meant to be. Although it'd be best to keep that to myself until the end of the trip, since Ko's the one who has been listening to Greek tapes. I just plan to speak English loudly. People appreciate that, I've noticed.

I'm sure I'll be posting more about this in the future. And I definitely need to get a camera sometime soon (I've gone through two since I moved here - I think it's me) so I can document things for all of you. In the meantime, I've been learning about Greece from the CIA world factbook. It's pretty useful, like wikipedia but more reliable. For example, did you know that Greece is slightly smaller than Alabama? Or that it imports 527,200 billion barrels of oil per day (compared to the 13,710,000 billion barrels imported into the U.S. each day)?

Perhaps I'll come up with some exciting Greek poll to put over there on the side. In the meantime, I'm gonna work really hard. Except that it's sunny outside.... I hear it calling me....

Another, um, cultural difference between the U.S. and Europe

2009-07-28T02:46:00.002-04:00

Do you know what I've been thinking about recently? Circumcision. My friend the internet tells me that while most (about 79%) Americans are circumcised, the rate is much lower in Europe. Germany wasn't listed, but Wikipedia claims it's under 20%. Based on an informal survey (NOT a visual inspection!) I suspect the rate is much lower than 20%, at least among white scientists ages 25-35.

Somehow I was unaware until recently that the the US differs in it's circumcision policy from most of the rest of the world. Jenny and I had a few questions about exactly how the procedure is performed, so we turned to the internet again to figure it out. Click here for a computer animation of what happens. And, if you've got the stomach for it, here's a real live video. I was shaky for a while after I watched it.

So. I guess I doubt that the baby was in so much pain the the second video - he was probably just mad. And I doubt that any of the circumcised men that I know suffer much from the trauma of having this done. Also, I'm aware that there are some benefits - easier hygiene and less chance of spreading STD's. But doesn't it seem strange to cut off a part of the body when it's not medically necessary?

Ah well. Since ASLO is a hypothetical child I don't have to make a decision for him yet. Perhaps I'll let his hypothetical daddy make the decision.

Back in the Lab

2009-07-23T08:47:00.007-04:00

I'm back in Germany, and sort of adjusted to the time difference. The weather could be worse. It's warm, but it's also raining. Sigh. It's looking cool and sunny for the weekend. People seem mostly glad that I'm back, or maybe they're just glad that I brought the giant Spock sticker for the freezer in Charles's lab. And a whole lot of peanut butter candy.

Anyway, I thought I'd provide just a few pictures for you all. Here's my family one night while were were at the beach. First, here are my lovely siblings:

Here's one of me with Mom. Notice the difference in skin color. Really, it's insane. In theory, I have half of her DNA. Part of it is living so far north, but I think it's mostly genetic.

Here's one of me with my friend Tiffany and her new daughter, Shelby. Shelby is six weeks old, and has feet sort of like mine. Sorry Shelby. If it keeps up this way, shoes are going to be an issue. Sammy is on my other side. He's jealous of the baby. I think you can see it in his eyes.

The final picture is what awaited me when I got home. It turns out that you really shouldn't leave coffee in the coffee pot when you're going to be away from a couple of weeks.

So the message here is that I don't really take pictures. The ones from home are courtesy of Quinton. Unfortunately I don't have one of me holding Wendy's baby or with my friends or extended family. Oh well. I think there's something to be said for enjoying a moment rather than trying to document it all the time. Anyway, I had a great time and it was good to see everyone. Now it's back to work, although at the moment I'm posting this blog rather than actually working.

Dispatches from the couch

2009-07-11T15:00:00.003-04:00

Quinton and I are hanging out for a while, since we've finished packing the car and vacuuming and stuff. When Mom gets off work we'll head down to Florida. We managed to get everything in the car - only one unpacking event when we realized that we forgot to include the beach chairs.

So far my time in the U.S. has been pleasant. It's warm here. In Germany my feet are always cold if I'm not wearing socks. Now I don't have to worry about that.

I bought some bathing suits yesterday. It was traumatic. I managed to get two, but it involved a lot of staring critically at my body in the mirror. From the experience, I can recommend that no one look too closely at the back of my thighs. It's not pretty - I should know. I guess that's the other nice thing about Germany. A person doesn't have to wear a bathing suit so often when their feet are cold.

What else? So far I've eaten some tacos, biscuits and gravy, and pimento cheese. I've also decided to open another restaurant in Germany. In addition to the taco stand and the deli I think Jena needs a barbecue joint. I think I can probably manage it with the money I'll make from my vending machine empire.

Also, American television is awesome. For example, I'm watching a commercial now about how to "lift and firm your booty" by doing "flirty girl dancing." Lots of hip gyrating. Apparently it involved a chair dance, and for advance students, a stripper pole. I'm wondering if it could do something about the back of my thighs.

Just a quick note...

2009-07-06T08:58:00.003-04:00

Hey everyone! I think I have something like 54 hours before I begin my journey home. It starts when Goeran drive me to Erfurt at something like 4 Thursday morning. Obviously, I will love him forever for this (but not in a weird way, in case he's reading). My train leaves from Erfurt at 5:18, and arrives in the Frankfurt airport at 7:50. My flight leaves at 9:45, and from then it's just a quick 10 or so hours before I arrive at Atlanta's Hartsfield Jackson International Airport (or, ATL).

International travel is exhausting. I can say that because I'm so worldly and well traveled - sophisticated, one might say. Especially since I was wearing a cowboy hat, star stickers on my face, and the colors of the flag while I was dancing around the yard waving a sparkler and singing "God Bless the USA" this weekend. Unfortunately, no pictures. But you've got that mental image to keep with you.

Right, so I'm trying to get some things done this week before I go, so if I didn't e-mail you back it's both because I'm a bad person and because I'm trying to get a rough draft of a paper written before I go. I'll be home at 1:55 on Thursday and leave at 4:25 Tuesday the 21. Call me. I'll have my U.S. cell phone. Georg is German in his thinking and believes that no work should be done over a holiday, so I'm going to keep to that, but at some point I'll be going with my family to Jekyll island for a few days. I've seen the ocean in the past year, but it was cold and that seems wrong, somehow.

Wow. Boring post. Also, if I had a stalker they'd probably be able to track me down, which is kind of creepy. Anyway, I'll see you all soon!

Emily's Craft Corner

2009-07-01T05:40:00.001-04:00

I haven't put a knitting related post up in a while, and I'm sure that my audience has been wondering what I've been up to. In keeping with my desire to 1) avoid counting stitches and 2) finish all projects within a couple of hours I made some felted beer cozies. They're different sizes because beer comes in differently sized bottles here. I personally feel that they look better in person, but I don't hold that against them. I'm not so photogenic either.

Anyway, it turns out that the concept of a cozy (I thought it might have been coozy, but according to my friend the internet, that's a vulgar term for um, something else) is pretty much unknown in Germany. But they're also much less concerned about the temperature of beverages, so I guess that all makes sense.

I saw a girl the other day with some felted flowers in her hair, so I'm considering making some with my leftover yarn. I'm so crafty, I know.

Fallen Princesses

2009-06-25T09:48:00.003-04:00

Check this out. I really love this website somehow*. It's about the Disney princesses. The artist says:

"In all of the images the Princess is placed in an environment that articulates her conflict. The '...happily ever after' is replaced with a realistic outcome and addresses current issues."

I'm not sure which one I like best. Maybe this one - just because she looks like I feel some days.

Plus, I like the bar. It seems like hard drinkin' kind of place.

_________________________

* Jenny points out that both of us have started ending sentences with somehow. I think it comes from Charles. So I may start speaking like a non-native English speaker. It happens when you lead a glamorous life abroad.

Göttingen

2009-06-22T13:58:00.006-04:00

I went to visit a friend in Göttingen this weekend. If there's a market for science tourism (and it's hard to imagine that their wouldn't be) Göttingen has it cornered.

See, perhaps the most exciting thing about Göttingen is that the motto (slogan, whatever), "Stadt die Wissen schafft" is German play on words and I almost understood it without looking it up. For those of you who don't speak the lovely language of Goethe, let me explain. See, literally it means (and this is my translation so if you're German and it's wrong please correct me) "The city that creates knowlege." However, since "Wissenschaft" means science, it's also the city of science. It makes me realize how many little jokes must be happening all the time that I don't understand.

Right, where was I? Okay, so Göttingen (according to the tourism website) been associated with 43 Nobel Prize winners (I think all in science). Eight of them are buried there, so I made a pilgramige to see the cemetery where all the famous dead guys are buried. Fascinating tidbit of information - Max Plank has his constant on his tombstone.

I also saw this statue (the Gänseliesel):

Apparently she's the most kissed girl in Germany (although really, how can a person possibly know that?) because after students at the university finish their Ph.D. they have to kiss her and give her some flowers. I think it's sort of sweet. I wanted to kiss her also, but I don't think I've met the requirements.

Anyway, Göttingen is a lovely city. It was sort of comparable to Jena in some ways: about the same size, big university, lot of science - but sort of more impressive. I'm sorry Jena. At least Goethe never lived there (at least, as far as I know).

Like Life

2009-06-17T02:20:00.003-04:00

You know, the major thing I've learned from living in another country is that it's not glamorous. I think the word "abroad" has always sort of filled me with anticipation. "Abroad" causes my mind to fill up with vague images of cafes, cathedrals, elephants, pyramids, and crowded markets. Also, I think it conjures the smell of some slightly exotic spice - cardamom, maybe, which isn't available in the Covington grocery store.

I haven't posted anything in more than a week (I like to think that you noticed, loyal readers, but I can't be sure) because nothing is really happening. I gave a seminar in lab meeting yesterday. I'm watching the 7th season of the Gilmore Girls. A new bar opened up by my house. I'm going to learn about the genitive case in my German lesson this week. While walking to work last week a fly flew between my eye and my glasses and got stuck there for several seconds until I ripped off my glasses to release it.

But when I talk to people from home, it seems like so much is happening. Babies, jobs, weddings, etc. Big stuff. Dramatic, life changing events. I was considering leading this post with the fly story (because I was concerned at the time that it was a wasp - imagine the dramatic consequences there) instead of the "I'm getting married, having a baby, and buying a house" news that everyone else seems to have.

It's not that I'm jealous. The news is as often bad as it is good. It's just that I sometimes feel like I'm just waiting for stuff to happen. My days are mostly pleasant and uneventful. Jenny frequently jokes that everyone's life is better than hers. But I don't really think that - it's just that everyone's life seems more lifelike than mine

Chemikerball 2009

2009-06-08T07:26:00.004-04:00

Chemikerball 2009 was a fancy affair. It's fun to see your colleagues all dressed up (note to the Germans - I did not claim you as friends).

Here's Alex doing her best to keep Martin in line. It's a tough job, but if anyone can do it, she can. Click on the picture and you'll get to see all of the other photos.

Also, I should point out that if you google "Chemikerball" you get my 2008 post. More text, fewer pictures. But most of my observations held true this year as well

Mysterious + hormonal = woman

2009-06-05T08:46:00.004-04:00

I was going to post about the Chemikerball, but Jenny doesn't have her camera cord and I think the whole thing is pretty silly without pictures. So in the meantime, I thought I'd pass this article on to you.

In case you don't want to read it, it's written by a man who, as part of a treatment for prostate cancer, was taking a drug that suppressed testosterone production. Overall he found that it gave him hot flashes, he cried all the time, and he was unable to control his food cravings. Apparently he was much like his menopausal wife.

His conclusions from this time:

"Even though I only got to spend a brief time on the outer precincts of menopause, it did confirm my lifelong sense that the world of women is hormonal and mysterious, and that we men don’t have the semblance of a clue."

When I read the essay I felt conflicted - the same way I feel about talking about women's hormones or health issues in general. I'm sure this man means well, but he's furthering the stereotype that women are irrational creatures ruled by hormones rather than reason and self control.

On the other hand, men get passes for biology all the time. As in "Sure, he caught the house on fire/jumped off a cliff/had an affair. But what can you do? Boys will be boys." And, although I have not lived through menopause myself, I understand that hot flashes are intense and unpleasant and probably have been historically minimized because they happen to women. Probably that's generally true about most women's health issues. As in "stop being a crybaby and take it like a man."

I read the comments on the article and the general consensus was "finally, a man who understands." So maybe my concern about furthering gender stereotypes is unfounded. Or maybe it's just my time of the month.

I want this

2009-06-01T13:51:00.001-04:00

Have you ever seen a more delicious looking picture? I'm coming home July 9. And I may eat nothing but tacos while I'm there.

Words I Hate

2009-05-29T02:53:00.003-04:00

I realize that English is not the most beautiful language in the world. I also realize that it's constantly evolving, and that, unlike other languages, we have no official set of rules to tell us what is and is not a word. Still, I find some words especially irritating.

I mean, I found the term "staycation" annoying, but then I saw this thing on NPR about a "nocation" which isn't really a thing. It's working. Which we already have a word for.

And then I was watching "Larry King Live" after the whole American Idol thing finished for the season, and the term "bromance" came up repeatedly. Turns out that a bromance can end in a "dudevorce" which makes my skin crawl.

Research on this topic led me here and here. And, realizing that "Brangelina" is also a frankenword (okay, I kind of like that term) made me feel more justified in my annoyance.

Of course, I eventually realized that I use a lot of these words too: Informercial, workaholic, spyware, and even (I'm sorry to say) blog.

But I still think "bromance" is stupid.

Four mini-posts

2009-05-24T07:48:00.005-04:00

I kinda couldn't decide what to write about today. Plus, I only have about 4 sentences worth of material for any one topic, and text is easier to read if it's broken up with bullet points. Jenny's mom said I should write a book. I wonder how many have been written in list format? 'Cause paragraphs are sort of exhausting.

The Germans seem to have no solid grasp on summer food. Which is odd, because strawberries and asparagus are in season now, and you can only get them during this time. Still, if I go to the mensa (student dining hall) for lunch it's stuff like beef roulade with roasted potatoes and red cabbage. Delicious, to be sure, but sort of over the top for 80 degree weather. I'm looking for something like a chicken salad sandwich with a side of fruit. And possibly an ice tea or lemonade. Anyone who wants to open a restaurant - I really think that Jena could do with a sandwich shop. Subway is the only competition.

The birds have started building a nest on my balcony. Clearly, I'm a crappy nature writer since I have nothing more specific than "bird." Still, I was watching today and they're bringing little bits of mud and sticking them to the side of the house. About half the time the mud stays on the wall. Other times it falls immediately onto the balcony. But they're persistent and I try not to discourage them, even though they wake me up when the sun comes out (something like 5) with manic chirping.

Larry King Live sometimes get on my nerves. Today's show revealed that women have problems with self worth. I was shocked (shocked!) by this revelation. I also appreciated that Lucy Liu could explain it to me. I always enjoy it when beautiful actresses can tell me that in order to overcome my self esteem problems, I should love myself more. Very helpful.

Yesterday was my 29th birthday. Although I know I'm only a day older than I was the day before, something about birthdays causes a person to want to take stock of their lives. I try to avoid introspection as much as possible - it makes me melancholly - but I'm afraid that I'm turning into a character in a Lorrie Moore story. I think maybe the main charachter in "Anagrams," who, among other things has an imaginary child that she talks to. I've recently gotten my own imaginary child (I call him Aslo - story for some other time), but until recently I hadn't made the connection. This is a bad path for me to go down, I'm sure, since almost all of her characters are women in academics who are misunderstood and alienated from the world around them. On the other hand, they usually have sharp wits and enjoy word games. Plus, I could reread her short story "You're Ugly Too" a hundred times and not get tired of it. So, you know, it could be worse.

It comes in a pink wrapper? I'm in!

2009-05-17T09:47:00.003-04:00

It's been a while since I posted about something that isn't Star Trek (and let me tell you, I've been holding back) but Katy sent me this link today. It's a candy bar marketed toward women.

You can tell because of the pink rapper and the cursive writing. That's how women write, you know. The thing that pisses me off, isn't, as NPR points out, the fact that the candy bars are called "fingers" and the promotional slogan is "pleasure yourself." That's creepy, to be sure, but whatever. The problem is that gender specific candy bars are being marketed at all.

It's not just candy bars. Apparently, diet soda has been traditionally sort of, ya know, feminine and Pepsi is making a bid to change that.

Men are opposed to girly things, but like, if it's made out of a nukular submarine it's worth giving it a shot.

So here's the question I have about these ads. Do they reinforce ridiculous gender stereotypes (i.e. women are dainty and frilly while men are tough and stupid)? Or are they somehow subversive - portraying those same stereotypes ironically?

If you're interested in one of my favorite feminist blogger's opinions on the subject, check out her posts here and here. I think I may have linked to one before but I never get tired of reading about what a big load of crap femininity is. One of the best things about Germany is that the pink marketing campaigns are blessedly few and far between.

Live long and prosper

2009-05-13T03:26:00.004-04:00

I mean, I know I should be embarrassed about this, but I'm not. Well, except that it's not an especially flattering picture. Also, I think jeans have fallen out of fashion in the future. Which is a shame, really.

Do you know what hasn't fallen out of fashion? Miniskirts and knee high boots. Only for the women of course. Men still get to wear pants.

So while I liked the movie (and get that they were trying to be true to the original series), I'm disappointed that the future is going to be a lot like the present. We'll have token females chosen in large part because of how good they look in the outfit (Sarah Palin, anyone?).

Awesome

2009-05-10T05:45:00.002-04:00

What would happen if you took two of my favorite things, and merged them into one? This:

I'm going to see the new Star Trek movie tonight - it's in English! (As an aside - I was willing to go to Berlin for this, but it's happening here in Jena). Charles said that he'll let me wear his science officer uniform. He's not enough of a dork to wear it to the movie premier, it seems. I definitely am.

Haircut, take II

2009-05-07T02:48:00.005-04:00

This is another post about the minutia of my life. I'm never sure if I should focus on bigger issues, but I think that it's probably best to tell you about what I'm actually thinking about. So those of you who talk to me frequently might know that I didn't like the haircut I got in January. I thought that if I just gave it some time I might come around. Alas, four months later and I still hated it. The problem was that it was puffy at the bottom and flat at the top, giving my head sort of a triangle effect. I have a picture somewhere.

See! Definitely a triangle quality. Anyway, when I tried to explain it to the German hairdresser (Tanja) it went sort of like this:

Emily: "My hair is a triangle"
Tanja: tilts head to side and looks knowingly at my head "Yes"
Emily: "So I want it not so short, but not so triangle"

It turns out that was enough. I like my haircut. Although it was odd because Tanja didn't try to make small talk with me at all. I guess it could be because small talk is less necessary in Germany, or she was convinced that my supply of German was exhausted after the triangle conversation.

Anyway, here's the final result. My face looks weird, but you can see the haircut. If you're in Jena, I suggest Tanja.

Leisure Time

2009-05-06T02:32:00.007-04:00

How much do I love reports like this? The answer: a lot. Something about all the statistics and the figures. It's very satisfying. It's very hard for me to break it down and show you the graphs that are the most interesting. That's why I posted the link. Enjoy.

Basically, this is a report comparing the lives of people in 18 different countries. I have no idea how rigorous the scholoarship is here (Katy?), but since I like comparing the US and Europe and I like having data portrayed in graphical form, here goes. I'm focusing on leisure time here.

First, the percent leisure time per country.

Perhaps we should all move to Belgium. Or out of Mexico, at any rate.

I was shocked (shocked!) by this graph. Men, it turns out, have more leisure time than women in all of the countries measured. But good effort, Norway. And Italy! You should be ashamed of yourself.

Next: Holidays. Guess which country has the least? That's right, the good ol' U.S. of A. It turns out that we're the only country that doesn't legally require any paid holidays. I included the legend with this one, 'cause I thought it was hard to interpret.

Despite the fact that Americans don't have a lot of leisure time, it turns out that people living in the U.S. are still pretty happy. In fact, we're kind of an outlier in the lovely linear regression done here. Although, frankly, I'd like to know that the slope of this line is significantly non-zero before I move to Denmark.

Okay, that's it for today guys. Check out the link for more fascinating social trends.

So cute it hurts

2009-05-01T04:56:00.004-04:00

Matt sent me these pictures. Really, I can't even talk about it without having to express myself through a series of high pitched squeals.

Everyone was amazed by the cuteness (he had dirt on his little feet!) except Jan. He's cold.

Also, check out this blog. This guy is a genius. I wish Germany would get some delis. I miss sandwiches.

Word up!

2009-04-28T02:27:00.007-04:00

First of all, how are y'all doing over there with the swine flu? If everyone I know could please make an effort to avoid dying in an influenza pandemic, I'd really appreciate it. So far it looks like it hasn't gotten to Georgia yet, but I suspect it's just a matter of time. Probably it's coming to Germany too, though. It may be time to quarantine myself in my apartment.

Secondly, I've been a bad blogger of late. I realized I haven't posted any Helgoland pictures. Here you go. First, I give youth Pohnert group. Yes. There are a lot of us.

Second, here's a picture of some rubber boots. One of the gray/blue pair is mine. Something like 9 euro at Aldi. That's some dope shit. Nothing makes me feel as sexy as walking around in rubber boots all day.

Next, please turn your attention to the bathing beauties on the beach. They don't seem to realize that it's cold. Please note point number 6 from the April 18th post.

And finally, we came across some rather unusual marine life while in Helgoland. The rocky intertidal is truly a fascinating place. You'll have to look really hard in the picture to see it - he's rather well camouflaged. We're doing feeding assays with him later to determine whether the chemical defenses in the algae help him avoid predation, or if it's just that he's more cryptic.

That's all I got for today. Oh, and the 90's hip-hop phrases are brought to you by my Swedish friend. Nothing's funner than a Swede saying "Word up!"

Peace out, yo!

NPR listeners like pot

2009-04-22T03:34:00.004-04:00

NPR is doing a story about legalization of marijuana, which I should confess, I haven't read or listened to. But you can - here.

I did, however, look at the poll results. I was expected something like 60% in favor, because, honestly, we all know the political persuasion of the average NPR listener. Instead, it was much, much, higher. See?

Should marijuana be legalized?

Yes
91%
No
4%
Yes, but only for medical purposes
4%

Total Votes: 12,234

Either NPR fans are way farther to the left than I expected or the people who follow NPR online are not representative of the larger listening audience. Which, now that I think of it, makes sense. I guess a lot of the elderly fans haven't quite figured out how to access the wide world of internet polls.

That's all I got today. Just thought I'd share.

10 Things I learned over the past week

2009-04-18T11:19:00.004-04:00

Okay, here's what I learned, in no particular order. Drum roll please....

1. Hamburg is a very nice city. It turns out that there are a lot of hippies who like to hang out in parks, so Jenny's thinking of moving there. I never really feel cool enough to hang out with the hippies (I'm not sure how to dress the part and my history of drug use is limited) so it's not as much of a draw for me. But it's a port city, which is cool, and we walked through a bunch of different neighborhoods.

2. People love in different ways. We went into one of the sex shops in St. Pauli (the red light district) and saw all sorts of unusual things. For example, gas masks. Does anyone understand the appeal?

3. Osterfeuers are fun. Germans celebrate Easter by lighting a big bonfire the night before. Apparently it tells winter to go away and keeps away monsters or witches or something (I got conflicting reports). Anyway, we went to the one on the Hamburg beach. I had a beer at midnight.

4. I continue to enjoy chocolate and alcohol. Lent is over. It's a good thing to be able to drink and eat chocolate again. I thought perhaps I'd like them less after not having them for a month and a half, but that is not the case.

5. I don't like to be told what to do. Perhaps this applies to everyone, but I realized after my trip to Helgoland that I really like being able to make my own schedule. I'm too old for class field trips.

6. Seals are awesome. They were just laying on the beach on Duene, the island neighboring Helgoland. They seemed unaware of the cold, and indifferent to the people taking pictures of them. They were just relaxing on the beach.

7. I prefer beaches that don't require me to wear a heavy coat. Really, I think that point is obvious. Enough said.

8. I think that I don't get seasick. Okay, so I probably don't have enough evidence to say that definitively, but it's looking good. The waters were pretty calm though. I need to test my mettle in rougher seas.

9. It's difficult to kill a fish by smashing it's head against the ground. I have Thomas to thank for this piece of information. You see, they're slippery, and if you hit them hard enough to have an impact, they just sort of slide out of your hands across the boat deck. But they don't die with just a light tap. Trust me, I know.

10. Rope is fascinating. Jenny and I became experts on rope during our time in Hamburg/Helgoland. For example, rope can be used to tie things to other things. Rope can also be used to tie things to themselves. Ask me about rope. It's my new favorite subject.

Update on my life

2009-04-08T05:32:00.004-04:00

Today is Georg's birthday. It's very exciting, in large part because we had cake, and I like cake. One was chocolate and it made me wish that Lent was freakin' over already. I mean, denying myself makes me feel closer to God or something. Kristina tells me that Lent is over on Friday, but I disagree. I'm pretty sure that it's not over until Easter Sunday. From a theological perspective, it doesn't make sense for it to be over on Good Friday. Back me up people. Am I right? Anyway, I'm thinking that my Easter breakfast may be bloody marys and chocholate bunnies. Mmmm. Lecker.

So I'm going to be leaving Jena for a week on Friday. It's sort of unlikely that I'll post anything in the meantime. Since the days surrounding Easter (i.e. Friday and Monday) are state holidays Jenny, Kristina, Kristina's boyfriend Dirk, and I are heading off to Hamburg. You know, just 'cause it seems like a cool city. Plus it has a large red light district. Prostitution in legal in Germany.

Starting Tuesday the entire lab is going on a field trip to Helgoland. It's a rock in the North Sea with a marine lab. It looks like this:

I'm sort of excited, except that I've heard that if the weather is bad we could be unable to take the ferry back to the mainland. Then we'll be trapped, and we'll have to eat Carsten so that the rest of us can survive. (We talked to him about this. He's not thrilled, but admits to the logic of it.) I'll let you know how it goes.

In other news, spring has finally arrived! It was sudden. I think it was last Thursday when the world got warm and happy, and I finally could let go of the resentment I felt towards all people living in warm places. Plus, I heard on CNN this morning that there's a cold snap in Atlanta right now. The weatherman had to take in his plants. Also, sometime early this week I noticed that most of the trees have leaves now. I'm pretty excited.

Canada is in good hands....

2009-04-02T04:33:00.004-04:00

I was watching CNN the other day, and one of the reporters was going around showing New Yorkers pictures of G20 leaders and asking them to give the name and country of the leader. I can do most of the European ones, but even the reporter got some of them wrong. Anyway, my favorite picture he showed is this one (I managed to find it on the internet later).

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Stephen Harper, prime minister of Canada. Why is he wearing a sweater, when all of the other leaders had ties? More importantly, what's the deal with the cat? Doesn't the photo look like it came from an internet dating site? Frankly, this picture is more youth minister than prime minister.

Anyway, my subconscious must have gotten stuck on that idea, because I had a dream that Mr. Harper was leading an English prayer service in Berlin. This is the sort of thing that happens when the only English TV station you get is CNN. You start dreaming about Canada's prime minister.

Sie sind sehr groß!

2009-03-31T02:37:00.003-04:00

So I went to order a pizza for Jenny and me from the pizza place near my house. I don't like to order by phone, so I usually go in and wait for it to be ready. It's only 5 or 10 minutes. Anyway, last night the proprietor (I think) of the establishment brought me some tea while I waited, and the following conversation ensued. Everything is translated from German, except the mistakes that I make when I speak.

Pizzaman: Hello, are you American?

Emily: (smiles) Yes.

Pizzaman: Ahhh. (nods) How big are you? (note: in German, there's only one word which means both big and tall)

Emily: 185 cm

Pizzaman: (eyes widen) Wow! That's really big! What do you do here?

Emily: I work at the university. I'm a scientist. A chemist. (note: I mean, I'm in the chemistry department, and explaining more is beyond my abilities)

Pizzaman: And how long have you been here?

Emily: Almost one year.

Pizzaman: How much longer will you stay?

Emily: One more year.

Pizzaman: And then you'll go back to America?

Emily: (shrugs) I think. But I don't really know.

Pizzaman: (laughs) Maybe you'll meet a man, and then you'll stay in Germany.

Emily: (hesitant) Perhaps...

Pizzaman: Everything's clear. (goes back to making pizzas).

The point of this post is threefold. First, the fact that a German made small talk with me is fascinating enough for me to write a blog about it. In all fairness, I would guess that the man was of Turkish descent, so he may not have been a German citizen. Second, I need to point out that it's taken a year for me to get to the point where my German is good enough to have this conversation. And third, if you are German and should ever journey to the U.S., you should never ever ask a woman how big she is. This is considered rude. I'm not sure about that man comment. If the guy hadn't been old I might have thought he was hitting on me. But German rules for flirting continue to escape me, so it's difficult to tell.

How much is Public Radio worth to you?

2009-03-29T09:20:00.004-04:00

So I'm listening to Atlanta's public radio station online - Weekend Edition Sunday, actually - and it's the spring fund drive. The alarming thing is that I'm finding it sort of comforting.

The whole NPR pledge drive conjures a very strong image of my old bedroom on a weekend morning. The sunlight filtered through the blinds, making the dust in the air visible. I used to turn on NPR, go make coffee, and sit in bed listening to Scott Simon or Liane Hanson. I'd drink my coffee and eat an everything bagel, toasted, with peanut butter.

I wonder if anyone is sleeping in that room now?

Anyway, I've known for a while that I've got a problem, since every year I get really into the pledge drive and find myself rooting for them to reach the goal. If you listen to the radio stream on the main NPR website you don't hear the pledge drive, so it's sort of an interesting surprise for me to hear it today.

Snuggie!

2009-03-23T13:19:00.005-04:00

Sorry I've been bad about posting of late. But now both my temporary undergrad student (Sophie) and my friend (Tracey) are gone, and I've got time/feel less guilty about writing blogs in the lab. Hopefully Tracey will send me some pictures and I'll do a post about our adventures in Germany (that is, if she survived the plane ride home - are you still alive Tracey?), but in the meantime I have something even better to share with you.

Sarah sent me a package. It contained a box of girl scout cookies (which shall remain unopened until Easter), a book light, and (best of all) a Snuggie! Here I am, wearing it in my lab.

Over Christmas, I was drawn in by the infomercials for the snuggie. See, it's a blanket that has sleeves. How brilliant is that? And the people in the infomercials seem so happy! They can read and knit and everything - but their arms don't get cold.

Here, I'll show you:

Her arms look really warm, don't you think? Anyway, I think that of all the packages I've ever gotten in the lab, this one has inspired the most jealousy. And amusement.

And, since I've come down with Tracey's cold, the snuggie will be particularly useful during my convalescence. My plan is to go home after my meeting this afternoon and hand around drinking hot tea in my snuggie.

Thanks, Sarah! It's an awesome present.

Genetic Poetry

2009-03-13T11:20:00.004-04:00

I read this story a couple of days ago, and for some reason it's stayed with me. Nature recently published a little article that this guy, Christian Boek, who wants to encode a poem in the DNA of a bacterium.

He's not sure which poem - I think that it has yet to be written, but he wants it to encode a functional protein. He says "Poets are always trying to write works that ‘come alive’ — but I’m trying to write a poem that literally is a living thing."

I sort of like this idea. It's sort of like a message in a bottle. He's writing something in the DNA of a bacterium and throwing it out to sea (although I guess this bacterium can never leave the lab) an maybe someday someone will read the message and think "hey, look, a poem protein. Cool." Or maybe they'll think something more profound.

Probably, though, no one will ever be able to read it. But there's something sort of intriguing about this poem copying itself over and over even if no one can appreciate it.

Schwartzbiernacht

2009-03-08T12:17:00.006-04:00

This weekend we had Schwartzbiernacht here in Jena. For those of you who don't speak the beautiful language of Deutsch let me translate: Schwartzbiernacht means black beer night in English. One of the charming things about German is that nouns get stuck all together with no spaces. Like "doghouse" or something in English, but on a much larger scale.

So on Schwartzbiernacht all of the bars, restaurants, and other establishments in the city have bands, and if you buy a ticket you can go see all of them. It's great fun. Especially because of the great diversity of bands.

Some of the things we saw included: the worst cover band in the world, Russians playing surf music, Germans playing Irish folk music, and a Rockabillyish band playing 50's music. One of the highlights for me was the marching band where everyone wore red berets with giant white feathers and capes. This is the best video I've got of it. Also: what's up with those horns? You may notice that it's not oriented correctly as of yet. But don't worry, that's all part of Charles cinematography style.

Cool, huh? The headlining group from this evening was a band called "Boney M." We took to long at dinner and didn't get to see them. It was okay with me, because I had never heard of them and every time I pointed this out someone would sing "Rivers of Babylon." Okay, only Martin sang. Still, after skimming the Wikipedia article I feel like I should have heard of them. So that's the story with the poll. Please tell me if you know this band so I can know if I should. It's like if someone started telling you about elephants. You're like "wait, a big grey mammal? Do you mean a rhinocerous or maybe a hippopotamus?" and they're all like "no, and elephant - you know, with the trunk and the tusks." Then you have to say "sorry, I have no idea" and then you look it up on wikipedia and find you're the only one in the world who doesn't know what an elephant is. So, um, have you guys heard of elephants?

Pipe, Spring, Squash, Lent, Limerick

2009-03-04T02:19:00.002-05:00

So two things have stopped me from posting recently: first, there's some trouble with the video I wanted to share with you all (involving a virus and a USB key) and second, I have an undergrad working with me for the next three weeks. While she's here I feel a like I should be working all the time. Especially since she doesn't want to take coffee breaks. Anyway, since I've been saving up things to tell you this post is in list format. Totally suprising and out of charater for me, I know.

So, then, what's going on in my life right now. Hmm. I dropped an earring down the drain in my sink and took the pipes apart by myself to get it. That's something, right? I also found a barrette while I was fishing around in there. The earring is wooden and now it looks a little strange. But I love these particular earrings, so I'm going to see what I can do about it.
More importantly, it's getting to be spring here. I went on a hike last weekend to see the Winterlinge - these little yellow flowers that were introduced to Jena from Italy through the wine trade.
I also played squash for the first time. I wasn't sure about the differences between squash and racquetball, and the wikipedia entries were too long to read - so I'm still not sure. Anyway, squash turns out to be a lot of fun, even through my butt was so sore after playing that walking up stairs was agony for the next three days. Just thought you should know. I think it's a good sign, and if I keep playing I'll have a much nicer ass.
The other thing that's happened is that Lent has started. This year I first gave up alcohol, but since Tracey is coming to visit during March (yay! Tracey!) I made a deal with God that I could drink while she's here. (God's cool with it, I think.) So I also gave up chocholate. Anyway, I haven't had any alcohol or chocholate for a week. I'm doing okay. Only 33 days to go.
St. Patrick's Day is just around the corner, and you know what that means? Green beer and pinching people! Also, limericks. I think that the limerick may be my favorite form of poetry. The Haiku is close because it's shorter. However, limericks are often dirty and I think that gives them an edge. Anyway, I challege you all to write a limerick and post it in the comments or on your own blog. But if they're really dirty maybe you should just e-mail them to me.

Okay, that's all I got. And Sophie will be here soon, so I should act like I'm working.

Research Theme Song? What do you think?

2009-02-27T10:39:00.003-05:00

I think I may have a very special post for you soon (look over at the poll for a hint as to what it may be about). But in the meantime, I'm going to fill some space by sharing a potential new theme song with you. It turns out that on Neko Case's new album there's a song called "Red Tide."

Pretty awesome, right? If you follow this link you can here it. Turns out that the lyrics aren't all about the Red Tide, but at some point I think they say "The red tide is over, the mollusks have won."

I think that's nice. I also like it when science creeps into song lyrics. Like the Mountain Goats song "Autoclave." Listen here.

I would also like to take this moment to point out that NPR's music site is delightful (I was going to say awesome, but twice in one post seems excessive).

Space: The Final Frontier

2009-02-24T10:49:00.003-05:00

When I was in college the student activity committee used to organize all night movie marathons. If you stayed for the whole thing you got a t-shirt. Do you remember this Katy? The Harrison Ford movie marathon happened before I came, but I did go to the Disney one. I learned a couple of things from this experience. The first was that I really don't like to stay up all night and will fall asleep during the screening of "The Sword in the Stone" even though I kinda like that movie. The second is that you can convince me to do a lot of stuff for a free shirt.

This past weekend, I had a similar experience. Charles and I totally geeked out and watched three Star Trek movies in one day. Don't judge. It rained all weekend. Fortunately, this particular movie marathon was mostly during the afternoon/evening, so I wasn't forced to choose between Star Trek and sleep.

Anyway, Star Trek movies are always sort of disconcerting for me. I love The Next Generation TV show for the same reasons many people think it's boring. People are reasonable. They're thoughtful, and they get out of tricky situations by modifying the deflector dish to change the internal phase of the ambient resonance waves rather than blasting through with the phasers. When I was 14 I really, really wanted to live on the Enterprise. So far, that hasn't happened, but I still have a special place in my heart for Jean Luc.

The movies, however, involve a lot of phaser fire. And photon torpedoes. And, I think, something called a quantum torpedo, but since those don't exist in the TV show I wasn't sure what they were. The Enterprise in the movies is way to violent for me to live there. Which, honestly, is for the best - since I've seen no evidence that an anomoly in the spacetime continuum will allow me to relocate to the 24th century.

That said, I still had a lot of fun on Sunday. The only thing that could have made it better was a free t-shirt.

And then, on Monday, Charles got a package. Apparently the t-shirt he ordered had some sort of subtle mistake and he got a free replacement t-shirt. And since he didn't need two nearly identical shirts, I got one. Awesome! It's way better than the shirt I got for the Disney marathon.

I dream of everything

2009-02-18T04:38:00.005-05:00

I was walking to work yesterday morning, trying to think of a blog post. My only idea was a post entitled "have you seen my hat?" in which I would have tried to figure out if anyone knew where my hat was. But when I got to my lab it was sitting on my desk, so the post was no longer relevant.

I use that story to illustrate how nothing is going on in my life. It's cold, I'm taking care of Jenny's cats and watching a lot of Star Trek.

I think to compensate for the lack of interesting things in my life I've been dreaming a lot.

I'm not sure why, but last night I dreamed that I looking at a translucent pancake under the microscope, and it was full of daphnia infected by parasites (Sara - I think this must be because of you). At some point Dr. Crusher and Wesley Crusher started analyzing the parasite infection (clearly related to all the Star Trek). Then, after we had inspected the daphnia we decided to eat the pancakes. I offered one to Astrid but she refused saying something like "I'd like to stay pretty." In my dream I interpreted that as a comment about me eating too much.

Other dreams I've had recently include:

Me being unable to wake up my brother so that he wouldn't be late for a job interview.
Luise yelling at me because I hadn't done my German homework.
Julia offering Charles a post-doc.
Carsten driving me somewhere in a car (I had this dream right after I told Charles about #3, and Carsten asked if I ever dreamt about him).
Barack Obama having lunch with me and Jenny in Wagner (a cafe) and getting harassed by the Germans about US foreign policy.

If you'd like to be featured in my dreams, apparently all you have to do is ask, and I'll incorporate you. It may be sort of sucky though. I mean, where was I going with Carsten? A plot might have been nice.

**Update**

The dreaming continues. I refused to get up when the alarm went off this morning, so I had two weird dreams in the meantime. The first is that I was in the bathroom (in my Mom's house in GA, for whatever reason) trying to put on make-up, but it turns out that my face was made of glass and so the make-up looked weird and artificial. Which, obviously, is what I was concerned about - not that my face was made of glass.

The other one was that there was a virus sweeping the Earth that turned people into jerks. No other obvious symptoms, just that people started being mean and treating each other badly. A few of us were immune. This includes my mother, my cousin Sherry, and me. We had locked ourselves in a house and were enjoying some sort of buffet style meal while the world went to hell outside.

3 things that have made me laugh recently

2009-02-16T07:33:00.007-05:00

Do you ever find yourself browsing through Natalie Dee comics instead of, say, testing to see which RP cartridge is best for extracting domoic acid from seawater? No? Um, right. Me neither. But at some point when I wasn't supposed to be working I found this.

I think that it sort of describes my blogging philosophy. And, then, if that weren't enough - I found my perfect Valentine's Day comic.

It's funny 'cause it's true.

And hey, the other day I was hanging out on the indexed site, and this made me laugh for a long time.

Like whoaa, man. Right? 'Cause, like chickens don't have fingers. That just totally blew my mind.

Okay, that's all for today. Just thought I'd share.

Six word memoir

2009-02-12T07:16:00.003-05:00

There's a story on NPR today about six word memoirs. I've heard about it before. Apparently Hemingway was once asked to write a story in six words and he said "For Sale: baby shoes, never worn." Anyway, so the idea is usually to write your story in six words, but since it's nearly Valentine's Day people are writing the stories of their love lives. Some of them are sweet, some are sad. Here are a couple from the article:

The results are sometimes romantic: "He sees the me I don't" ... sometimes devastating: "For the children, I remain his." ... and often hilarious: "Found Jewish princess. Good-bye succulent pork."

I went through and read a bunch of them in the comments. The ones I liked best (of the ones I read):

"I liked him, he liked men."

"New best man and bride needed."

"Gravity pulled down, humor held up."

I've been thinking about my story of love. It's sort of depressing (and perhaps after the last post I should try to be more upbeat) but here it goes:

"Maybe there is no such thing."

Anyway, if anyone is still reading this blog feel free to contribute your own. In German if you like.

February

2009-02-11T02:21:00.002-05:00

February is my least favorite month. By sort of a lot. It starts off with my sister's birthday, which is cool (although I was on the trip from hell back from Nice this year and couldn't celebrate it) and then moves directly to Groundhog's Day, which is sort of a novelty (although it seems to be only a North American tradition). But after that February is depressing.

You see, I'm so over winter. I knew it was bad for my psychological well-being to move so far north, and I was completely right. It had been sunny for a couple of days, but when I woke up today it was snowing Winter just drags on forever. You've got the post-Christmas momentum to get through January, but it's completely worn off by the time February rolls around. And then you're left trying to psych yourself up enough to get out of bed in the morning.

In a few day's we'll have my favorite holiday ever. Valentine's Day. I maintain that it's a stupid day (designed to sell candy, flowers, and jewelry) whether or not you're in a relationship. Although I'll admit that I have more data points for being single. The great injustice of it, it seems to me, is that while the Germans don't really do Halloween they do celebrate Valentine's Day (Halloween = Awesome, Valentine's Day = Not Awesome).

I realize that I'm sounding crazy and bitter, but it's not supposed to get above freezing for the next week. You people in Atlanta don't really understand - I checked. The high there is 69 (21) today. I need spring! I need sunshine! I can feel my soul withering here in the dark.

That's sort of all I've got for today. There's nothing to be done except to hunker down and wait for spring to finally arrive.

Naked Sunday

2009-02-09T02:19:00.003-05:00

I have no pictures for this post, and after I tell you why, you'll either be relieved or disappointed. Actually, most of you might be relieved, which honestly hurts my feelings a little.

If I haven't told you how comfortable the Germans are naked, I've been remiss. But here's the thing - Germans think nudity is no big deal. Which is why you can see into the showers at the gym, there are FKK beaches, there are no paper gowns to wear at doctor's offices, and you can see pictures of breasts in magazines and store windows.

In contrast, I think nudity is a big deal. When I'm near naked people I don't know where to rest my eyes (look at his face, look at his face), and being naked in front of people is much worse. I'm not especially comfortable with that unless we have a *very* close relationship. What can I say? I'm an American. I'm a prude. The two go hand in hand.

My discomfort with the naked human form is a source of great amusement for the Germans. And, in an effort to cure us of our prudish ways, Kristina took Jenny and me to the sauna yesterday. The difference between German saunas and American saunas is that clothing is forbidden in German saunas. And they're co-ed. That's right. I spent yesterday sweating naked on a bench with my friends while other naked people lounged nearby.

Overall, I guess it wasn't so bad. After I hung up my robe the first time it got progressively easier. And at some point I was just too hot to care. There are two observations I would like to make. The first is that it's quite unsettling to fall asleep in a lounge chair (outside the sauna - I was wearing a robe) and wake up to a naked man stretching over you to hang up his towel on a hook above your head. Penises across the room are one thing. Penises dangling before your eyes are another. The second thing is that that naked men are funny. While I was drinking my after sauna milchshake I had a view of the pool outside. Every single man walking around out there walked with his hands on his hips and his pelvis thrust forward. Not being a man, I can't be sure, but it certainly looked like some sort of method to establish territory.

I'm a little worried about what it might mean if I get too comfortable with being naked in front of strangers. Afterall, I'm eventually going back to the US, where nudity is closely linked with sex. It could lead to problems.

Nice was, well, nice.

2009-02-05T02:22:00.003-05:00

I've been back from the ASLO meeting in Nice for a few days now. I'm sort of readjusting to the cold, although part of me died a little when I stepped off the airplane in Berlin. Walking to work in the morning is a feat of strength - I almost fell on the ice twice today. Like, really almost fell. With arms waving and the "Whoa whoa" sound effects. I can't type it to make it sound adequately alarming. But the advantage is that the adrenaline burst that comes from just barely avoiding busting my ass is better than coffee for waking me up.

I digress. Here in list format are some highlights of the trip:

The city is really incrediby beautiful. The sea and the mountains, and the winding narrow streets of the old town. Some people live there. How does that happen? I find myself constantly saying things like "Oh my God, I'm in Nice." Which I think may be annoying for the Europeans. Since they think of Nice sort of like Toronto. I mean, I've never been to Toronto, but I doubt I'd be overwhelmed if I ever went.
My talk went well. Or at least I think it did. People came up to me and said "I enjoyed your talk" and then asked me questions about it. I guess it's unlikely that they would come up to me and say "I thought your talk sucked" so it's hard to judge.
I saw some good talks that I'm sort of mulling over in my mind. Hopefully I'll be able to get some inspiration. I also saw some bad talks. It turns out that after you're famous you no longer have to prepare or have a coherent thought in your presentation. Rambling is totally acceptable. I hope one day I get to that level. Hundreds of people will come just to listen to my stream-of-conscious, unedited thoughts. Now only my friends do that, and even they get annoyed.
I enjoyed my time with the lab. You guys are awesome! (According to Carsten, Americans think everything is awesome.) I didn't take pictures, but Carsten did and he was graciously willing to share them with me. Click the picture to see the rest.

What's wrong with this picture?

2009-01-22T13:40:00.004-05:00

All I can say is "post-racial, my ass!" I would like to point out that America does not look like the guys standing behind Obama.

This picture is from the NY Times article about how Obama is closing secret prisons and detainment camps. Which I planned to submit to the Germans who mock me as Exhibit A in the case for "why the world really will be better now that Obama is in office."

But I was distracted by the big crowd of old white guys behind the new president. Oh well.

9 hours left: Past Inauguration speeches

2009-01-20T03:03:00.003-05:00

I think that even the Obama's are probably still asleep (It's 3 am EST), but I'm sure that many people are busy scurrying around trying to finish stuff up. I saw a think on CNN this morning about the Secret Service snipers on the tops of buildings. I wonder if they're out already? Seems cold.

Okay, so on my last day of pre-Inauguration coverage (tomorrow the post-Inauguration coverage begins) I thought I'd take a look back at previous inauguration speeches. I actually didn't realize how many memorable presidential lines had been delivered during the inauguration. If you'd like the full text of all of them (and I'd avoid reading William Henry Harrison's) you can find it here.

The Washington Post considers Abe Lincoln's 2nd inaugural to be the best speech ever given by an American:

"With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation's wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan, to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations."

-Abraham Lincoln, 2nd Inaugural Address

I don't have anything particularly wise to say about this LBJ quote, except that I like the line about freedom.

"If we fail now, we shall have forgotten in abundance what we learned in hardship: that democracy rests on faith, that freedom asks more than it gives, and that the judgment of God is harshest on those who are most favored.

If we succeed, it will not be because of what we have, but it will be because of what we are; not because of what we own, but, rather because of what we believe."

-Lyndon Bains Johnson

When he was a child, my brother memorized this Clinton quote and would recite it over and over again. Very cute.

"Our democracy must be not only the envy of the world but the engine of our own renewal. There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured by what is right with America."

-Bill Clinton, 1st Inaugural Address

Probably almost everyone recognizes this FDR quote, but it seems appropriate since it was given during the depression.

"This great Nation will endure as it has endured, will revive and will prosper. So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance."

-Franklin D. Roosevelt 1st Inaugural Address

And finally, from the president to whom Obama is most often compared:

"And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.

My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man.

Finally, whether you are citizens of America or citizens of the world, ask of us the same high standards of strength and sacrifice which we ask of you. With a good conscience our only sure reward, with history the final judge of our deeds, let us go forth to lead the land we love, asking His blessing and His help, but knowing that here on earth God's work must truly be our own."

-John F. Kennedy

We'll see how Obama's speech compares. I imagine he'll do alright.

33 Hours to Go!

2009-01-19T02:37:00.004-05:00

Happy MLK Jr. Day! As you might imagine, it's not a holiday here in Germany, so I'm at work. Bummer. I'd really like to be celebrating the civil rights movement. So to protest, I'm blogging.

I don't know if you've heard, but starting tomorrow we (the citizens of the United States of America) have a new president. As part of my "Countdown to the Inauguration" series, I'd like to point out the series of inaugural poetry commissioned by NPR. You can find it here here. There are three poems, but I'm only going to share the one by Calvin Trillin. I find it a little concerning that I've chosen the one white man in the group, but I like Mr. Trillin because he writes poetry like me - only better. Which is to say his poems have a limited use of literary devices (metaphors are overrated) and you can pretty much figure out what they mean after reading them once. Plus, I find this particular poem pretty impressive because every singly line rhymes with "day."

So here it is:

Inauguration Day: Hooray, Hooray!

by Calvin Trillin

Inauguration is the day
The nation's hopes go on display —
When through one man we all convey
Our dream that things will go our way.
His resume we can't gainsay.
In politics, we know, his play
Is worthy of the NBA.
He proved that in the recent fray,
Though he had help from Tina Fey.
And now this solemn matinee
Awards the winner's bright bouquet.

First, Pastor Warren's going to pray
For everyone who isn't gay.
Obama then will stand and say,
"I take this oath that I'll obey
The statutes of the U. S. A."
In his address, he might portray
The dragons he intends to slay:
How Wall Street's sky will turn from gray
To blue as blues are chased away,
How workers will collect good pay
For turning out a Chevrolet,
How in Iraq we'll end our stay
With shortest possible delay,
How pay-to-play will be passe
So K Street suits will not hold sway.
Yes, how we'll triumph, come what may:
We'll rise up like a good souffle
'Til life's just like a cabaret.

Obamacans will shout hooray
And toast their man with Chardonnay
As commentators all make hay
Comparing him to JFK.
The Beltway types, those still blase,
Might think that soon, with some dismay,
We'll wonder if his feet are clay.
But that's all for another day

2 Days and counting....

2009-01-18T04:45:00.002-05:00

Okay, fluffy piece of Obama news number 2: CNN's "puppendential" debate. So, so ridiculous. Also - so, so hilarious. Here's the Daily Show's highlights.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Road to the Doghouse - Puppedential Debate

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

It's hard to deny that Anderson Cooper is adorable.

3 Days 'till we have a new president

2009-01-17T07:49:00.003-05:00

I thought that maybe until the inauguration, I'd try to post something Obama related every day. I expect that there's about a 15% chance of that happening (that's, like, 3 days in a row). I think the theme of these stories will be "fluffy, feel good, happy stories about the Obamas." Hey, everyone else is doing it. Anyway, here's today's tidbit.

I ran across this NY Times article today. It's kid's advice to President Elect Obama. Cute, huh?

Here's an example:

Dear Pres. Obama,
Good job on winning. I heard about Area 51. I wanted to ask you if there are any U.F.O.’s there. I think that you should tell people in public the truth about Area 51. You would just maybe say, “That we will take care of it.” And do it.
— Edwin Jara, age 9, New York

I've been concerned that the aliens in Area 51 weren't more of an issue during the campaign. Thank you Edwin for bringing it to everyone's attention.

The other exciting thing about this particular article is that many of the children also submitted portraits of Mr. Obama.

Renea Harris-Peterson, Age 9

This was my favorite. I think it captures his essence. Something about the eyes. Nice work, Renea.

Love is a many-splendored thing

2009-01-14T02:53:00.003-05:00

And by that, I mean "a chain of biochemical reactions."

Just in case you were looking for a way to procrastinate today, here's a Nature essay on the neuroscience of love. And here's a NY Times commentary about it.

It makes me feel justified in my cynicism. You romantics can have your love. I'll focus on the cold, hard biochemistry. And then I'll go home to watch Star Trek and knit. Alone.

Computer Virus

2009-01-13T09:38:00.002-05:00

I haven't had access to my computer all day, because it acquired a rather unfortunate virus. Or fortunate, depending on how you look at it.

Every time I clicked on one of the results from my Google searches, it redirected me to porn. Yikes! I'd include a link to the website, but I've spent enough time looking a porn at work today already. Feel free to look for yourself. It was called something like "PornTube" and had a layout very similar to YouTube. Except that the videos were all, you know, porn.

I have learned a couple of things from this experience. Not how to avoid such things in the future (I'm not sure what I did), but still a few things. One is that I will love Charles forever, since he spent about a day and a half trying to sort things out. And two is female porn stars have fake boobs. Neither of these are exactly new knowledge (although I refuse to elaborate on my previous experiences with Charles and porn), but both were more firmly established today.

Okay, I'm going to do non-porn related activities on my computer now.

Happy 100th Post!

2009-01-10T05:56:00.004-05:00

I'm sorry I haven't posted recently, it's just that the first post of the new year and the 100th post seemed to call for something really good and interesting. And I was home, so I thought it was more important to spend time with people and watch crappy TV in English than post a blog. But I'm back now, and the crappy TV is in German, and it's SO FREAKING COLD HERE that I don't want to be outside. But it is sunny, and the snow is sort of pretty. I'll give you that.

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Right, so as you can probably tell by now the pressure of making this post interesting was too much, so I'm going with the same stream of consciousness style I usually use. Saves actual editing.

So, on to important things. Katy had a baby and I got a haircut on the same day! Amazing right! Two major life events happening at once. Here's a picture of both, taken with Katy's camera at the hospital. I think I like the baby better than the haircut, but I'm trying to remember that some bald child will be happy.

Here's another picture of Tracey, Melissa, and me on New Year's Eve. I guess it was actually New Year's Day at this point. What's really alarming is that this is by far the best picture of me from that evening. I think in the future photographs should be taken at the beginning of the evening. As Melissa points out, we make glasses look sexy.

The other good news is that my friend Sara defended her dissertation on Tuesday, and I got to see it right before I left. She did a fantastic job. And Amisha (my former roommate) flew in for it, so I got to see her too.

Other than the bitter cold (I don't have long underwear, so I'm wearing two pairs of pants right now) things are back to normal here. I'm over the jet lag, I think. It's good to see everyone again, but it's really sad not to know when I'm coming home again. On the plus side, Dr. Sara sent me an e-mail asking which week is good for her to come visit me, so I have something to look forward to. Plus, I'm going to a conference in Nice at the end of January. Overall, life is good.

Happy 2009!

A post from the couch in my pajamas

2008-12-28T11:23:00.022-05:00

Sorry I've been so bad about updating my blog since I've been home. I don't really have an excuse, it's just that I haven't been thinking about it. But my brother bought a wireless router, so now I can do it from the couch sitting beside the Christmas tree, which is way more pleasant than sitting in the room where the computer used to be. Also, since it's been so long you may not be surprised that this post will be in list format again. I started off doing a good job of documenting things, but that quickly deteriorated, so there are no pictures of, say, Christmas. Here we go....

1) I've been hanging out with some GT friends. Here they are one day when we went to lunch. It reminds me of how few men I ever interacted with in my old lab. There are definite advantages and disadvantages to an all female lab.

Also, they traced my body on a giant white board that was in the hall by my old office. I think she looks just like me. Although it does make me worry that my hips are really very wide. That quote from R. Kelly was already there (for reasons that I don't understand).

2) My brother is now a college graduate. He's looking for a job, so if you know of one tell me and I'll pass it on to him. In the meantime he continues to be a bagel manager, a job that does not utilize his full potential. Here he is, looking thoughtful after the ceremony. Germans really miss out by not doing the whole graduation thing. The hats alone make it worth it.

3) There are good things and bad things about being back int he U.S. I'll start with the bad - traffic. I was driving home from Atlanta - it's forty miles or so, but it took more than two hours. I tried to document it adequately, but it's probably not a good idea to take pictures when driving. Anyway, I had a hard time conveying how many cars there were all jammed up on the road, and started taking pictures of the Atlanta skyline.

And now for a good thing. Check out the peanut butter shelf in the grocery store. Take that Germany. You may have superior bratwurst, but nothing beats the variety of American peanut butter. If you look at the picture closely you can see a lonely jar of nutella.

I thought I might have taken pictures of some of the Mexican food I've eaten, but I guess not. I'll try and get that before I go back.

4) This is my last day of long hair. I actually have an appointment scheduled for tomorrow, and unless I loose my nerve I'm cutting off 10 inches (25 centimeters). I'm sure that some bald kid will appreciate it. Also, think of the money I'll save on shampoo. Anyway, here I am with long hair a couple of days ago. Sammy also has a lot of hair, mostly because his clippers are broken and I haven't tried to fix them yet.

I'll try to post pictures of the haircut (because why bother blogging if you don't share inane details of your life?) tomorrow. I'm getting a massage immediately before, so hopefully I'll be really relaxed. I've been watching too many make-over shows on TV since I've been home, and the women who get their really long hair cut off always cry. I'm hoping to avoid that.

5) I hope everyone had a very merry Christmas. Like I said, I had stopped carrying my camera around by then, so I don't have an pictures of the Christmas celebration at my grandmother's house, my aunts house, or Christmas morning at home. But really, this blog is long enough, right? I'm thinking of showering and taking the dogs for a walk. Or maybe doing my German homework. But probably the walk.

Coming Home!

2008-12-15T01:55:00.002-05:00

I'll be back in the good ol' U.S. of A. tomorrow, barring any unforeseen disaster. I've got about a bazillion things to do today, but before I start, let me mention that I'll be in Atlanta until Jan. 6 at 4:30 p.m. This is the longest vacation I've taken since I started grad school, so I'm pretty excited.

If you're thinking "wait, but will she have time to see me?" you can stop worrying. I want to see you. I miss everyone. We can go get Mexican food or something (although if you want Schnitzel and Sauerkraut I'm may be busy). Call me. Or I'll call you - but probably not tomorrow, because I'm going to be a little jet lagged.

Okay - off to prepare samples of the microtiter plate reader demonstration that is happening in an hour.

The City of Light

2008-12-11T03:01:00.005-05:00

I've sort of given up hope that I can get my sister to do a guest post here, so it falls to me to recount the Paris adventure. However, I'm leaving in less than a week, so I'm including the pictures I have (click on picture) and one story. See below.

Perhaps the most exciting thing to happen was that I left my wallet on the train. Well, either that or it was stolen, but since no one used my credit cards I think it was lost. This turned out to be a bit of a problem, since you're supposed to have the card you used to buy the ticket on the train, and I didn't. The nice Deutschebahn man wrote a note on the ticket and stamped it (essential for all official German business), so fortunately we didn't have to buy new ones. Everything is okay now - I should have a new American bank card and credit card waiting for me at home. I'm going to my German bank today to explain the situation. I've been practicing (Ich kann nicht meine bankkarte finden...). Feel free to make fun of me for the wallet situation.

I was sort of lazy with the picture taking - maybe once I get home I can post Sarah's pictures as well. Charles is a way worse blogger than me, but I keep hoping that he'll put his on his blog also. Speaking of which - Jenny has pictures up from Thanksgiving. Check them out - you can see how good I am with children. Don't laugh.

Literary Dissapointment

2008-12-04T02:52:00.002-05:00

Do you ever worry that you're spending too much time wandering around the Christmas market and not enough time expanding your cultural horizons? I mean, it's certainly optimistic to expect me to keep up with say, the art or music scene. I have limited abilities to grasp the full complexities of these subjects. But I thought I might be doing better with current literature. It turns out I'm not.

Actually, I have this sort of crisis every year when the NY Times publishes it's list of 100 notable books. This year I have read exactly 0. Last year was a little better - at least I had read the seventh Harry Potter book. But since no Harry Potter book was published this year, I can only say that I've read other works of seven of the authors. At this point, I'm really over Philip Roth (and frankly, I don't care if he ever wins the Nobel Prize). Both Annie Proulx and Toni Morrison make me want to throw myself off a bridge (not necessarily a bad thing, but I have to save up emotional energy for that). And - does it count that I listened to Jhumpa Lahiri read from her latest book on NPR? I swear I'm going to read it! But see, um, I have to order English books from the internet here, which limits spontaneous book buying.

Anyway, I'm just now getting around to reading "A Man in Full" and that's partly because I'm borrowed it from Georg at the same time I borrowed one called "Just Friends" with flying pigs on the cover. I don't know if you've read that one, but here's the spoiler: Freya and Jack end up together in the end.

Are other people doing better? On the plus side, since MTV is mostly in English here, I'm more up to date with my pop culture than I was in the U.S.