In case you don't want to read it, it's written by a man who, as part of a treatment for prostate cancer, was taking a drug that suppressed testosterone production. Overall he found that it gave him hot flashes, he cried all the time, and he was unable to control his food cravings. Apparently he was much like his menopausal wife.
His conclusions from this time:
"Even though I only got to spend a brief time on the outer precincts of menopause, it did confirm my lifelong sense that the world of women is hormonal and mysterious, and that we men don’t have the semblance of a clue."
When I read the essay I felt conflicted - the same way I feel about talking about women's hormones or health issues in general. I'm sure this man means well, but he's furthering the stereotype that women are irrational creatures ruled by hormones rather than reason and self control.
On the other hand, men get passes for biology all the time. As in "Sure, he caught the house on fire/jumped off a cliff/had an affair. But what can you do? Boys will be boys." And, although I have not lived through menopause myself, I understand that hot flashes are intense and unpleasant and probably have been historically minimized because they happen to women. Probably that's generally true about most women's health issues. As in "stop being a crybaby and take it like a man."
I read the comments on the article and the general consensus was "finally, a man who understands." So maybe my concern about furthering gender stereotypes is unfounded. Or maybe it's just my time of the month.
2 comments:
there's a long article about the first couple's date night in the NYT today. . . not sure how i feel about that either
Yeah, I don't like to have my feeling and reactions consigned to hormones. On the other hand, my hormones do sometimes cause me to behave somewhat irrationally, but not all that often. Not so often that I'd like this concept to represent my life/contribution to society.
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