Monday, May 5, 2008

German Dating Customs

Alex, a female German graduate student, has recently returned to the lab after a month of working in Norway. I haven't spoken to her much, because she left right after I got here. But at lunch today I was telling her the story of trying to find Peter at Der Klub.

"No!" she said, horrified. "If you want to find a German man you have to act shy!"
"Why?" I asked. "Won't they just miss the signs?"

Alex assures me that German men have been conditioned to pick up tiny, subtle flirtations and that anything overt will terrify them.

I can see where I've been going wrong. Ass grabbing isn't the German way.

Anyway, then both Charles and Alex instructed me on avoiding eye contact and then glancing briefly at Jenny (who was playing the part of Peter in this practice session) and then looking away, as if I was so overwhelmed by her/his masculinity I couldn't bring myself to maintain eye contact. Sort of like the women of the clan in "Clan of the Cave Bear."

I'm not sure I buy this. Sara suggested that Germans may find my directness refreshing. Of course, it hasn't worked so far, so maybe I'll give the shy thing a try.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

you could treat it like an elaborate real-life role-play...pick your favorite cave bear character....

Anonymous said...

You complete me. Come back, won't you? (Or at least set aside a spot for me on your couch. I might be fleeing the country in shame and frustration quite soon here.)

anaeromyxo said...

You were there when Jenny landed Sebastian, right? How shy was she really? Also, wasn't the ass-grabbing her idea? I feel betrayed.

anaeromyxo said...

I mean, on your behalf, I feel betrayed...

biophd said...

In Jenny's defense, she was unaware of the shy rule. Who knows what Sebastian's deal is...but he seems to be a German redneck, so I'm not sure he's my type.

Tracey - you've got a spot on the couch anytime. Of course, the couch and the bed are the same thing, so consequently you're always welcome in my bed.